How's your depression?


#1366

It could be. I had an appointment yesterday where they told me that they think my problem is more acute stress which had lead to anxiety/feelings of hopelessness because of being overwhelmed as opposed to depression. Was taken aback tbh because stress doesn’t sound like a big deal and hopelessness sounds like depression but apparently not. Also think there are many people feeling like shit because of the things you mentioned, it’s hard being so qualified but not finding jobs or saving as best as you can but living at home still when you want to move, these are things happening everywhere and it’s quite demoralising


#1367

i think this is the default position and some people find it easier than others to make their life fulfilling/feel like they have a purpose in order to move fowards

depression makes it difficult to move forwards, just like it makes everything difficult


#1368

Having bad mood swings lately, most days fantasising about killing myself, no idea if that’s normal or not. Probably not at my age


#1369

I think you’d call this dissociation?

I think that it must be more common now, for lots of reasons. I think the way the internet is a pretty major factor in this, though in some ways this is a continuation of the effects of other media (the disconnect between the version of the world in, say, television, and our actual lives). and of course, capitalism in its modern form has been hugely destructive.

like… as culture has been accelerated, it’s been denatured. the constant churn has… it’s like I said in the shit things on social media thread, our lives have been chewed up and regurgitated, and lost their flavour.

all of these things have caused an increase in mental health disorders, right? anxiety, depression, everything in these spheres. and addiction… that’s a major thing. we’re driven to consume one thing or another in an addictive way, and these addictive tendencies leave you feeling empty.

not feeling particularly articulate right now. but all of that, yeah.


#1370

Sorry to bring up this post from ages ago but I tried to stop looking at the internet for a while and don’t want to just leave it unacknowledged. Really appreciate it and acknowledge the truth in a lot of what you say here. I guess the issue is that it’s difficult to see the point in fighting against it when there’s nothing else in life to really make doing so worthwhile anyway, but idk I won’t go on about it too much because it’s only likely to trigger relapses for other people really isn’t it.


#1371

I’ve probably expressed similar things in this thread before but where I’m at is giving up on previous notions of a ‘happy life’ or whatever and settling for just minimising situations which are likely to make life actively difficult, so hopefully I won’t feel an imminent need to die too often.

Wish I could just watch Coronation Street all day every day, really.


#1372

Counseling this morning fucking ruined me. Something we discussed really hit a nerve and I’ve spent most of the day bawling my eyes out. Got two whole sentences out to my gf when she got home before dissolving into tears again.

I have to fly to The Hague to do a work hearing on my own on Sunday/Monday and I could hardly be in a worse mental state for it.


#1373

I totally understand that blanket lack of interest in everything, having also experienced it for a good few years. Having said that, since getting my eating disorder (sort of) under control, I’ve noticed a marked uptick in the number of times I care about something or experience some small pang of enjoyment, and am hoping that’ll carry on growing.

It’s not been a sudden, ecstatic shift into being a super happy person or anything even similar, but it’s important to remember that your eating disorder is part of what makes everything seem like shit, even though it’s insidious and malicious enough to present itself as some kind of solution or solace.

Just liek you probably


#1374

won’t let me edit after hitting enter accidentally—

Just as you probably don’t see an accurate version of yourself when you look in the mirror (at least mild body dysmorphia is part and parcel of basically every ED, as far as I can tell), disordered thinking presents an inaccurate picture of the world, only allowing you to see the dreadful, useless bits.

Sorry if that all seems trite/banal, but I really do believe it. I hope you can get a handle on things—like I said before, DM me if you ever want to vent or anything.


#1375

Stay strong good friend.


#1376

I keep telling myself there’s this ‘thing’ I need to make my life work: get a degree, get a job, get promoted, get a car, move out, have a child. Turns out it’s not any of the first three. Probably a good bet that it’s not any of the last three either. I don’t know how i manage to keep convincing myself that I just need one more thing for all to be okay. Even though I know it isn’t ever going to be okay. I’m always going to be alone and I’m always going to have the same issues. I basically just live in daydreams now when I’m not at work, it’s the only way I can cling on.


#1377

Feeling pretty blue today guys! :neutral_face:
Hope you all ok as ok as can be!


#1378

This is very very normal but there’s no box that, when ticked, will finally lead to inner peace if it’s not there already unfortunately. That’s not to say that pursuing those things is a bad idea tho!


#1379

I’m at the bottom again. and I’m finally here without a candle. with my last gasp of hope actually extinguished. I will never find love, and I might as well be dead, because without that hope I cannot bring myself to care about anything again.

not in a callous way; in the sense that I do not have it in me anymore. I just can’t do it anymore. these feelings I have had, that have ended up passing into nothing, this was the last I had. I can’t muster any more.

I don’t know how to carry on from here. I’ve got nothing left.


#1380

just to assuage any worries: I am not capable of ending my life. I will doubtless just linger on as the shadow of a person


#1381

Completely drained. Never felt like this before. Couldn’t face a wedding of a good pal of 20 years the other Saturday.
Haven’t seen my grandma in 2 months cod the thought of getting on a bus kills me. Had to go home from work yesterday cos I kept thinking I was going to be sick, just completely overwhelmed. Quit a week ago and would just not go back, but my colleague who’d end up with my work over enrolment would suffer ridiculously.

Always knew I suffered from this but it was never a major problem, just shocking what happens when your trust into an intense physically draining two months and you deteriorate. Frighening.


#1382

Unsurprising you sound really burnt out, your work seem to take the absolute piss tbh. Been same with my job for last…9 months to a lesser extent and see it all round the business and sector. I’d say there were 6 months where I was constantly overwhelmed but still battling on and it took a kind of insidious toll and in combination with my actual life, the non-work one I actually care about, left me utterly exhausted. Is there anyone higher up - manager, union etc you could talk to and explain/complain about how badly they are treating you/their staff? Or if you need time off, get signed off for a bit?


#1383

You better today pal?


#1384

Need to see gp re: meds but can’t possibly take time off work (due to where I work this would be min of 2 hrs and I have appointments and meetings all week.


#1385

Sertraline has been p helpful for me so far, but the main side effect i’m getting is serious lethargy? Like I’m absolutely yawning my head off and can’t stop it, I’m feeling exhausted by 8pm and anything less than 9 hours of sleep is killing me (although even 9 hours sometimes isn’t enough). anyone else had this? any tips? i mean it’s good in a way that i’m going to sleep at a more sensible time, but it’s quite restrictive too