How's your depression?


#1486

Hey!
Yeah I am back in the gym and i’ve started running again so that’s definitely helped me a lot but still just that unsettled, low feeling just creeps around with me. I’ve only got a week and a half til I get a week away so i’m hoping that’ll help things a bit.

I should really get outside as much as possible to make the most of the daylight hours.

Hows things with you?


#1487

Me too, and I feel bad about this, i’m shit at giving advice and usually say the wrong thing or pointless platitudes that probably won’t help anyone at all


#1488

No need to feel bad or selfish about this - it’s what this thread’s here for. x


#1489

I don’t think you need to worry (and certainly don’t need to be apologising) about not engaging with anyone else. If nothing else, you have a sympathetic audience here and we are all likely to understand something of how you’re feeling.

Do you always see the same doctor? Is there a way you can see another at your practice? If you’re not happy with the care you’re receiving then there should be a way of changing who you see.

And being fixated on what people see to you, particularly medical professionals, say to you about your depression isn’t unusual. I always get pissed off when someone describes my depression as ‘mild’. It feels as though I’m being ridiculous for struggling through every single day as if I’ve got a mild cold, rather than a debilitating mental illness.


#1490

Variable :slight_smile:

Had a bad weekend - couple of smaller anxiety attacks, but went to the GP on Monday and found myself a therapist on Tuesday which seems to have helped a bit. Mostly feel I’m floating through life at the moment and like I’ve got this constant slightly worry about nothing specific at my forehead.

What would normally be frustrating me at the moment is that I’ve not been able to find the motivation or energy to go and exercise since I got on meds (about 6 and a half weeks ago), but to be honest I don’t really care right now.

A few days in Lisbon definitely helped me a few weeks back (once I’d managed to get through security at the airport), so hopefully your break has the same effect for you.


#1491

It ebbs and flows, really. You don’t need to apologise. I do the same all the time, then come back when I’m in a bit better mindset to see if I can offer the kind of help people gave me.

Just realised this has been covered. Nothing to see here!


#1492

I’ve just been seeing whoever I can get in with first really as I don’t want to take too much time off work. So it’s been variable - I have had a couple of really good experiences, though frustratingly the one doctor who really seemed to get it was a locum. And I think this got to me more because the other one was with the doctor I saw this morning.

I’m taking positive steps and stuff so I shouldn’t let it get to me but there’s always part of me that thinks I should be able to just pull my socks up and get on with things, which feels vindicated by these comments. The ‘mild’ description gets on my wick too - it almost feels like being punished for coping, which I know is ridiculous.


#1493

Just to finish off my thread…I’ve been given 2 weeks off and course extension. Made me feel much more at ease and I’m trying to take this time to build myself up (constant alt right research isn’t helping)


#1494

I read your post about someone at work driving you to the point of walking out. Are you feeling better about that now?

Yeah I think you’ve got to let the meds settle and see how you feel after that. Don’t push doing stuff if you’re not up to it as that’s not going to be too great for you.

I always get really depressed after a holiday and not in the post holiday blues kind of way but more like a “is this all life is?” kind of way when you go back to the office. I try to squash that by booking something else immediately upon return!


#1495

It’s very much appreciated! I just need to make more of an effort to check back in when I’m feeling better I think. And try to remind myself that I have things to impart, even if just a bit of reassurance, that people might want to hear.


#1496

I wouldn’t say better about it necessarily - I’m still miffed about reacting like that, but more accepting of what happened, plus as I think I said further up, my boss apologised shortly after for pushing me too far, so he fully accepts that it was a reaction partly down to my illness rather than driven by bad behaviour or anything ridiculous.

Took the day off on Monday to try and get myself straight (basically sat in front of the TV all day other than when I went to see the GP) and talking it through a bit here, with the GP and therapist definitely helped get me back to what I guess is currently a normal level of anxiety rather than the heightened level I was at over the weekend.


#1497

It’s definitely good that you’re accepting thats whats happened and to be able to recognise that you’ve got to take some steps, which you’re doing, to get back on track.

Glad you’re feeling somewhat better even if its not 100%. You’ll get there.


#1498

we’ve all got it but has anyone here been treated for internet addiction?
or for depression or something else with a focus on that


#1499

think I need a bit away from here. take care everyone x


#1500

I think I hit the internet hardest at my worst. I don’t think it’s even a distraction because I tend to wallow at the same time.


#1501

Hope you feel better soon DB! PM me if you need anything x


#1502

A couple of times in the past week I have felt my mood, my state of mind be punctured from absolutely nowhere and make me feel loathsome and devoid of any positive characteristic.

Latest occasion, literally five minutes ago. Temptation to walk off into the distance and disappear is so overwhelming right now. Stop burdening people around me and at work with the fuck up I am.

This sounds annoyingly self-loathing, I realise. Like, ‘won’t that cunt just lighten up?’

Sorry.

Roger and out.


#1503

I think we’re better (I hope) in this thread than dismissing this as just being “annoyingly self-loathing”. You wouldn’t choose to feel the way you are, so there should be no question of you just “lighten(ing) up” at the click of a switch. I’ve been through similar feelings and I really was my worst critic during these times, even down to whether my mental health issues were brought about by myself (They aren’t, and neither are yours). I don’t know you all that well but I highly doubt you’re just a “fuck-up”. Self-stigma is a real thing and you may be listening too much to it right now.

It’s a bit simplistic to say “give yourself a break”…but maybe try and see how others see you, particularly people who you care about/who care about you. I hope things get better for you, have you been to see anyone to talk about your situation?


#1504

For what it’s worth, which I know under the circumstances is not anything at all, I guarantee you’re not a total fuck up. You’ve got my number if you need an ear at all - even if it’s in the middle of the night x


#1505

I don’t think i’m very well again :confused:

I started my new job (that’s supposed to be much better for my MH) less than two weeks ago and I’ve already had a dreadful time. I guess part of it is the normal struggle with a new environment, new people etc. but i’m constantly being told to do contradictory things and everyone seems to be enjoying having a new person in the team to boss around. I don’t have any control over my working hours, when i can have my lunchbreak, even when i can go to the toilet or pop outside for a cigarette. Last thursday it got too much and I very publicly had a little break-down. I took the rest of the day and Friday off and now all I can seem to do is sleep and cry. I know it’s just work but in the past it’s been small triggers like that which have completely set me off on to a path of being full on mental again and I don’t really know what to do.