How's your depression?


#1666

Well, firstly, there’s different levels of depression. I think it’s possible/understandable to look at someone else’s struggles and think yours aren’t at the same level by comparison. But in reality, I think everyone deserves a level of happiness and I don’t think people should beat themselves up because their difficulties aren’t as severe as others.

As for what else you’ve said…I guess you’d have to expand on bureaucratic bullshit but yeah…it’s increasingly feeling like the world around us is contributing more to our mental health (a “sane reaction to an insane world” as some people say) than ever before. I don’t know what the solution is…but for me it often helps to narrow my scope a bit…I try not to focus on the wider goings on in the world and concentrate on the immediate things impacting me.


#1667

can relate to this all… job stuff partner stuff. I have no advice though, just solidarity.


#1668

extremely down about life

I have too much to deal with right now. the stress of finding a job whilst having no money and feeling very insecure about my future is obviously a constant source of anxiety and is making me feel really hopeless about everything. I have a complicated life for reasons I can’t really explain which means a lot of effort has to go into things that people don’t even know about. I’ve been feeling really resentful of people who appear to have easier lives (anyone with a stable job, relatively uncomplicated relationships and fewer people to support) and I think I’m partly just embarrassed at how crap I seem to be at everything. I don’t even know how I’m going to pay my rent. Not entitled to benefits. I’m just so worried about this spiralling out into a big problem and it meaning that when I eventually do get into a position where I feel better financially and my life is a bit less messy, I’ll just be too anxious and depressed to keep it that way. Gonna go back on the old anti-depressants.


#1669

This is really sad to hear DB, as you bring so much positivity to the boards.

I hope your alright, and hope you find adequate support, be it here, through people you know, or just inner strength.

Ah you’ve expanded on this now so this might seem a bit slight…reading your post now


#1670
  • Finding work is so stressful these days…as is living in a world where your job is in question day-to-day FWIW you’d clearly be an asset to a number of firms, if you find something worth doing.

  • I’m sure I’m guilty of portraying things in my life that unintentionally make others feel bad, but I have been that position and all I wanted was uncomplicated relationships and being able to enjoy each day. But…this never means you’re crap at things. Don’t let people tell you that.

  • The people at the CAB have been absolutely fantastic to me in the past re: debts, give them a go if you haven’t. Otherwise, I think @colon_closed_bracket would know a lot about this?

If this isn’t helpful, I at least hope it isn’t UNhelpful. Anti-depressants sometimes get a bad rep but I think they’re a huge support in the right circumstance


#1671

thank you xxx
I think I really just need a job that I don’t hate and to spend some more time with friends who I feel ok being depressed around and don’t have to act like everyone is just enjoying their lovely middle class lifestyle


#1672

Are you doing fundraising atm? I did that back in 2012/13 and it had such a huge effect on my self esteem. It might be great for some people…but I find it morally conflicting and not at all suited to my strengths

Word. Friends like this are worth their weight in gold.


#1673

yeah I just did it for a couple of days because I genuinely needed something that I could start straight away to get enough money to live off this week before it was discovered that I wasn’t really doing it at all…

I’ve been very unlucky recently with a few things and Im pretty sure I will be ok in a month or so when my life is a bit better. I hadn’t quite realised how low my confidence is until recently so will need to work on that quite a bit.


#1674

my mum’s MS might be going from relapsing remitting to progressive. had a bunch of new symptoms but she’s too frightened to go the doctors about it. she’s such a fucking ace person, i cant put up with it getting worse for her. fucking loathe myself for thinking about it but worried about having to care for her as she declines too. it’s a pretty bleak thing to have that weight on the future.

my chronic pain shit is flaring up like it always does when it starts getting cold too, feel like everything that’s happening is a reminder that the future is mostly a downhill slope. i’m angry all day long and i go home and resent & ignore everyone i love. oops.


#1675

also feel like a bellend for only ever popping up in this thread when i want to talk about me. i read all of it though and it’s important to me, but i find it very hard to bring myself to try & help. the people in here who reply a lot are absolute stars.


#1676

Just writing things in here though can be useful to others, helping to build a feeling of commonality and solidarity - you said that what you read in here can be important to you, equally what you write can be important to others even without directly engaging with each other’s posts.
I feel like I can contribute very little here, I am not good at knowing what to say to help and often when someone has replied directly to me a can get a bit overwhelmed and be really bad and not respond even though I really value what they have said.

I wish I could say something useful to your other post above about your struggles, but I don’t have anything other than I sincerely hope things can get better x


#1677

that second para is exactly how i feel/act too, pretty often i’ll try to respond to someone and just type and delete a bunch of shite because it looks like platitudes (just done that a bunch of times in this post). life is hard and it’s hard to talk about it seriously. it’s good to have a place that admits that innit.

thanks mate.


#1678

It can be a really difficult job and totally energy-sapping…I don’t think that fact is always appreciated fully

Whilst it’s really not good to hear about your circumstances…you seem so optimistic about things (in the future) and that’s really cool :slight_smile: I’m also exactly like that wrt confidence; if things are going well I think I’m cock of the walk…but then it just takes a little setback and I realise how fragile confidence is (but weirdly enough…realising this has helped make my confidence slightly more stable).


#1679

This particular phrase really got me. It’s exactly the sort of the thing I think I feel when someone I’m really close to/I really admire gets unwell…but obviously I can’t fully understand what it’s like for you. Also I’m making wild assumptions here…but I’d wager you’re not worrying about future care because it’s some sort of burden to you…I bet it’s more about the trauma of seeing someone decline/worry about being sufficient enough support. In this case…this is nothing to loathe yourself for, it absolutely terrifying to confront this kind of thing and nobody should blame you for it. Just…basically sending my love for a hard situation which I think is difficult for anyone

(P.S. in regards to yourself and @Flashinglight, personally replying on here is good for my own mental health…so it’s kind of selfish in its own way. I think (hope) we’re all getting to the point were we all except we should do what’s best for ourselves.)


#1680

i worked in the office of a fundraising company for a couple of years and there’s no way i could do what the actual fundraisers were doing, so massive, massive respect for doing that at all.

i think you only need to look at one or two of your posts on here to see that you’re enormously bright and capable and generally a top person, so there’s that as well!

hope you start to feel a bit better soon :slight_smile:


#1681

i think i am resentful about the burden as well as those other things tbh.:man_shrugging:

i’m trying not to be hard on myself, just cant deal with all the rage i’m feeling really.


#1682

:frowning: this sounds rough

also with you on the chronic pain, thing i hate the most is how irritable and grumpy it makes me


#1683

This is where the Like button really comes in handy - I sometimes just use it to acknowledge I’ve read something that was addressed directly to me if I can’t think of anything that feels worth saying in response.

@DarwinBabe, @tricklenipple - really sorry to hear about how you’re both feeling. Not situations I can offer much help with I’m afraid, but I hope things improve for both of you soon. DB, good on you making the decision to go back on the meds since you think they’ll help for the time being.

@sky_box_office - This I can kind of empathise with. Until a few months ago I kept telling myself that I wasn’t actually depressed, just down and a bit empty at times, particularly having read some of the things people in here feel at times - my experience pales in comparison, and although I really struggle with certain things I’m actually relatively functional most of the time. I’ve since learnt though that actually I’ve got “moderately severe” depression and quite a lot of symptoms that I didn’t realise were related to my condition.

Even if you don’t think at the moment what you’re experiencing is depression, it’s might be worth going through the PHQ 9 and GAD 7 questionnaires to get a handle on whether it looks like you might be suffering from that or an anxiety disorder at the moment.

Also remember that a certain amount of anxiety or feeling down/sad about things is a natural part of being human and that you can always come in here to scream/shout/complain/word vomit whenever you like.



#1684

Absolute props to this post. Guys, never feel bad for posting in here. Whether it’s a question, statement, or piece of advice…it’s all massive in terms of creating a community where people feel able to talk about this kind of thing

You are all absolutely GBOL x 100


#1685

sorry about that pal. rubbish innit, just a constant black cloud. think it reinforces all my bad habits too - use constant input from music or podcasts or internet as a way to push it to the back of my thoughts. can’t exercise much when it’s bad. don’t sleep well etc.

i fantasise about the feeling i used to have when i’d wake up in bed of a weekend and stretch & enjoy the feeling of my own body or whatever. that joni mitchell lady was right.