How's your depression?


#1686

my partner has bpd and so goes through some pretty intense depressive episodes. at the worst she’s detached and unresponsive almost to the point of being comatose and there’s very little i can do to bring her back.

it’s a difficult situation to be in at the best of times, and doubly so when you’ve got your own mental health stuff to deal with.

@Bamnan’s advice is really good. on top of that, my partner makes notes of things she achieves throughout the day, even quite trivial seeming stuff. it can help remind her that she is getting stuff done and stave off some of the feelings of hopelessness a bit.

in many ways, the best thing you can do to help her is to try and work on keeping your own mental health under control as far as possible. i know that’s much easier said than done, but this stuff can be pretty tough and you need to be quite resilient to cope with it, so the stronger you are, the better you’ll be able to deal with looking after your partner.

i’m more than happy to chat if that would help at all. feel free to pm me anytime :slight_smile:


#1687

MS is heartbreaking, and you have my deepest sympathies with watching your poor Mum have it. I know it’s hard and worrying but please, please do urge your Mum to go back to her doctor/neurologist about her new symptoms. They might not be progression, they may just be part of a relapse. She’ll only get the right treatment (and treatments in MS have come a HUGE way in the last 20 years, esp symptom management) if she goes. I know this is easier said than done of course but, I really hope your Mum does find the strength to be able to go to her doctor about it soon.


#1688

cheers m9. she’s been quite lucky with it - think it;s in the 80th percentile for length of time before progression now. but that, coupled with some new severe symptom types she’s never had before, means she’s more and more convinced that it’s right around the corner.

gonna get her to book an appointment with her local MS nurse as a starter. it doesn’t help that her motability car was taken away and getting into salford on public transport takes so much out of her.

thankyou, really.


#1689

sorry to post here, I know a lot of you have much more difficult lives and challenges you are facing.

Just finding my loneliness is intensifying at the moment, not sure what I can do to combat it. Getting to that time of year now that I won’t be going for long walks as often which is my usual method of brightening my mood.

Yeah this is a pointless post just felt like getting it out there.

sorry


#1690

Hey Bamnan,

Don’t feel bad or like you need to apologise for posting this - it’s a completely reasonable thing to do, particularly with the things you’re having to deal with in life at the moment. If it’s something you felt the need to say somewhere, there’s probably no better place to do it, and far better to feel you can express that somewhere than not.

Btw - you’ve brightened up a lot of people’s lives this week; even if it’s not the same as face-to-face interaction, you’re a big part of the DiS community and very much appreciated here.

Keep safe.


#1691

Winter is definitely harder to cope with isn’t it :anguished: will miss walking too. Not a pointless post at all, venting is totally ok pls do it as much as possible if it helps!


#1692

I’ve had a few episodes of crying at work recently (only once a week for the past 3 weeks) but on Friday I was told that if it continues my contract will be brought to an early end. Not exactly conducive to good mental health and encouraging me to cease with the office crying. Weirdly my mood has been fairly OK recently and I’ve no idea what’s been causing the crying.


#1693

thanks man, that means a lot.

I’ll be alright just sometimes feels like you need to let the universe know you are sad.

Take care x


#1694

thanks JB, hope you are doing well today!


#1695

wtf?! can they do that legally? Seems horrible!


#1696

Hey Tilly - really sorry to hear about this.

If I remember rightly and you’ve been diagnosed formally with a long term mental health issue + are in the UK, I don’t think they’re allowed to do this as it falls under one of the many Equality acts. There’s some good resources on Mind’s website about this stuff - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/discrimination-at-work/#.WezkVFtSyUn

Obviously, whether you want to point this out to them or not depends on how you feel about continuing to work somewhere with that kind of attitude in management (and whether your mental health is up to the stress of challenging their behaviour)…


#1697

Thanks for the link, I’m gonna read up on this. You do remember rightly, I had/have a diagnosis or recurrent depressive disorder, generalised anxiety disorder and a few others. Work have some occupational health reports that state i’m probably protected by the equality act but that’s ultimately a legal decision that an OH doctor can’t make. I think work’s concern is that my crying is disrupting the day to day running of the business and potentially damaging the companies reputation (I was a bit teary in front of some people sitting an exam the other week, but I was invigilating and I’d been left on my own so didn’t have the option of removing myself from the room. wtf am i supposed to do in that situation?).


#1698

Sorry to hear this Tilly. Did work just launch into ‘stop it or you’re fired’ or did they at least show some concern or try to help beforehand?


#1699

The walking thing is big for me too. I’ve had foot and knee problems for years and there’s definitely a direct correlation between my mood and my ability to go for walks. The last five months have been rough, and I’ve been limping at least 50% of the time. I’ve had to cancel two trips because I haven’t been able to walk, it totally bums me out.

Have you tried yoga before? I get a similar ‘good vibes’ feeling from it as I do walking, minus the fresh air.

How do you feel lonely? Is it a longing for more friends, or a relationship?


#1700

I thought about trying yoga they do a class at the bottom of my street I think but it would be weird no doubt. Maybe I should just Youtube it or something.

I’m not sure, both probably, always lonely for a relationship but it’s probably just general company since I’m not working anymore and see my friends like once a week (that’s probably not too bad for my age but cos I’m single as well I just don’t really share my life with people really).


#1701

Just throwing out some general thoughts i’ve been having.
Would really like if, in general, social anxiety was something that gained a bit more attention from the media, or therapists, or whoever. If only for completely selfish reasons.
There’s no real doubt that it can fuel and go hand in hand with depression, humans being sociable creatures. I’ve wrestled, still wrestle, with just embracing reclusiveness because it’s preferable to the hell of putting yourself in situations where you’re vulnerable. You feel like people can completely crush you.
Also we talk about awareness and all that, i think it’d be nice if people were more aware of folks like us. Maybe it’s because the lines are blurred between socially anxious/weird person/creepy person/who invited this guy in the corner he’s freaking everyone out. But people can be really cruel and i very rarely, if ever, encounter anyone who seems to latch on to the idea that someone might be feeling socially anxious and, god forbid, attempt to put them at ease.
Anyway, feel kind of like I’m baring something I’ve never had the courage to post online before, mainly because i sound pathetic, but this seems a safe space.


#1702

Why weird? Cos you’re a man? Naaah. I heartily reccommend DDP Yoga if you fancy doing it at home, it’s more intense than regular yoga so maybe not as good for mental health, but I would feel FANTASTIC after doing a session. Of course, I haven’t done it in months because I am an idiot.

Tried meetup.com or those sorts of sites? What about music, would you be up for jamming with someone?


#1703

you don’t sound pathetic, this is totally reasonable stuff and you’re right it is a shame it’s not addressed more openly.


#1704

can’t really go anywhere cos no money or transport so I just try to forget that the real world is a thing tbh.


#1705

I have been really bad with it for ages, but I did pretty good getting into a yoga routine just through learning from a book, so I imagine going down the youtube route would be easy enough, you should definitely try it Bam!