my partner has bpd and so goes through some pretty intense depressive episodes. at the worst she’s detached and unresponsive almost to the point of being comatose and there’s very little i can do to bring her back.
it’s a difficult situation to be in at the best of times, and doubly so when you’ve got your own mental health stuff to deal with.
@Bamnan’s advice is really good. on top of that, my partner makes notes of things she achieves throughout the day, even quite trivial seeming stuff. it can help remind her that she is getting stuff done and stave off some of the feelings of hopelessness a bit.
in many ways, the best thing you can do to help her is to try and work on keeping your own mental health under control as far as possible. i know that’s much easier said than done, but this stuff can be pretty tough and you need to be quite resilient to cope with it, so the stronger you are, the better you’ll be able to deal with looking after your partner.
i’m more than happy to chat if that would help at all. feel free to pm me anytime