How's your depression?


#1726

I’m doing ok I think xx


#1727

Oh absolutely, like, I look around at my friends and think “I haven’t done this, I haven’t done that…”. But really there’s no set way of doing life. I need to learn this too really. I had a conversation with my ex about this the other day, he’s travelled all over the world, went to uni, started up his own business doing stuff he loves, and I’ve not done any of that. But he did remind me of the things I HAVE done, no matter how small they are. Measuring your success against others is easy enough to do and is perhaps easier to do when you feel insecure but it doesn’t mean they’ve done everything right and you haven’t. And whatever you want to change, well there’s still plenty of time to change it.

It’s just total chaos where we work. A combination of insensitive and cut-throat senior management, pointless and time consuming bureaucracy endlessly imposed by our government and an increasingly high staff turnover, in part influenced by the first two things. We support vulnerable students whilst trying to tick all these meaningless boxes, and we don’t have the resources for it. It’s so frustrating, particularly when you’re in the line of work I’m in which is helping people, because it always gets to a point where you just can’t help everyone, and it feels morally wrong.


#1728

I had the same problem when I was on sertraline earlier in the year, it was so painful sometimes and it would make my teeth hurt too. Have you been on it for long? If you are finding it otherwise helpful and want to stay in it you might find the side effect diminishes after a while.
That does sound like an insensitive way your work have treated your return… if you feel your boss would be receptive maybe talk to/email them to let them know you need a bit more support for getting back up to speed with things and it would be helpful to have that as soon as possible? I hope it gets better, not just work, everything in general x


#1729

Thank you :slight_smile:

I’ve been on it since August, and increased the dosage from 50mg to 100mg late September/early October. I’ve noticed the teeth clenching more recently but it’s definitely intensifying. Really sore tonight!


#1730

Fingers crossed that with a bit longer on the increased dose it should subside, that isn’t that long really since the change so ypur system might still be adjusting to it. I found that was up there with night sweats for the most unpleasant side effects for me.


#1731

was once told to take magnesium for jaw clenching. dunno if it was placebo but it seemed to help a fair bit.


#1732

OH MY GOD I’ve been having night sweats! I put it down to the heating, then to having bad dreams, but I guess it could well be that. Thanks for sharing that, really helpful to know!


#1733

been googling Nembutal. I’m probably so pathetic that I could never even go through with it, and I certainly can’t afford it unless I sell my meagre possessions. but that’s where I am right now.

weirdly, as of writing this, I feel a brief respite from the all-consuming misery. I dragged myself out of bed. I’m getting a mild nice feeling from the cup of tea I have. it’s quite nice out. I sort of want to try and go for a walk. I want to find some fields. I want to be where no-one else is.

I know it won’t last, the good feeling.


#1734

yeah it seems to give me the sweats from time to time too


#1735

Might not fit here but I just having a bad breakup which is making it hard to get through today. It’s made much worse because the relationship wasn’t working out and we decided to end it. Not sure if it was even right to end it there and I feel shit. No idea what to do.

I also don’t have anyone irl who I feel comfortable talking to about this, hence why I’m posting on here


#1736

big hugs to you my man :hugs:

one day at a time you will get through this. We’re all here to help you :slight_smile:

PM me anytime if you’d prefer, always happy to chat.


#1737

going for walks has always really helped me
do it
absolute best time of the year for it too


#1738

Hey PB,

It absolutely fits here. Really sorry to hear about this. don’t feel afraid of posting whatever you want or need in here anytime; there’s always someone willing to listen.

:hugs:


#1739

Hey incandenza - I think I’m following, although a not 100% because I had to google what Nembutal actually is. For what it’s worth, rather than a sign of being pathetic, I’d say that not going through with what’s on your mind is a sign of strength, although I realise it’s probably of little value me saying that. Even so, please do make sure you find a couple of contact numbers for your local MH crisis team and/or something like the Samaritans on your phone and use them as a last resort if you do decide to do anything though.

As shrewbie says, do try and go for that walk if you can, even if it only turns out to be around the block. There’s nothing quite like getting outside on a day like today for some brief respite (says the man who’s not left his house all day).

Shout if you ever need a private ear or anything. x


#1740

Hi guys, sorry for using this thread as a place to get some stuff off my chest, I hope that’s okay. It’s not really depression related - I don’t think - but I feel like I’ve been having a tough time recently and I don’t have many places to talk about it.

My mum was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago, she had surgery to remove half of her thyroid a few weeks back. The surgeon is happy they removed everything, but she had an infection and was in and out of hospital, and she’ll have to go back in the new year to remove the other half, followed by radiation treatment (I think). On the whole it’s not as bad as it could have been and she’s really positive and upbeat, and she’s talking about it like it’s been dealt with. But I don’t know if I’ve really processed it at all. My mother-in-law died of cancer last year and it was horrendous and heartbreaking, but I’ve just been kind of numb to this whole situation. She’s kept it very private so the only person I can really speak to about it is my wife, but I’m wary of doing so because of how painful it is in the wake of what happened to her mum. The other week when I was off sick, I ended up sobbing in the middle of the day when my daughter wouldn’t stop crying (the worst thing was, she stopped crying and looked really concerned, and that set me off again).

All this is happening when everything else feels really difficult - I’m not especially happy at work, my wife’s job is really stressful, we both feel like we need to earn more to cope with our rent and childcare and her loans, we’ve all been ill on and off for the past few months, we don’t sleep well… I guess I don’t feel desperate or crushed or anything, just permanently worn out and occasionally miserable and stressed about the future. And I guess everyone feels like this sometimes and many people have it way worse with their health and mental health and situations, so I feel guilty for being dramatic. I feel like I just need a break but that’s the one thing I can’t really have.

Sorry again for unloading, I might end up deleting this because I’ll panic about other people’s privacy, I just felt like I needed to tell someone.


#1741

hey man, I’m really sorry to hear about your m*m that’s a real tough thing to be going through!

First thing: don’t feel guilty AT ALL! It’s great that your m*m’s stuff went well and the outcome was good but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a shitty tough situation to be going through.

Just because you are feeling numb to it doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting you (numbness is still a form of reaction sometimes), maybe you’re just in autopilot keeping it together because of your job/family/parenthood commitments?

Tiredness is a serious drain on mood too, I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately too, don’t have any great remedies for you there (I know I just look at comptuer screens too much, I shouldn’t be doing it after 10pm or so but that’s my stupid decision)

We’re all totally happy to talk and love to help and be sympathetic where we can, after all in a selfish way it’s good to feel you are helping so it’s win win to get things off your chest :slight_smile:


#1742

Yeah got night sweats on sertraline, drenched in the mornings, it’s almost certainly the cause.


#1743

Thanks Bam. I think the autopilot thing nails it - that’s what it feels like. Like I’m doing the minimum to get for fear of losing it otherwise. But it means I’m not really enjoying anything or taking anything in, I’m just distracting myself with crap like Twitter and eating and drinking too much.


#1744

hard to give up those comforts in that situation but maybe try to cut the drinking down a little if possible? I always find I feel better when I do that


#1745

This is basically me for a long while. Don’t be sorry or feel guilty for posting in here - it’s exactly what this thread is for. I’ve said to a few people recently but it bears saying again; I spent a long time thinking my problems could be much worse, particularly reading what others have been going through, but actually it turned out to be “moderately severe” depression, even though I was functioning reasonably well day-to-day most of the time, but I wasn’t really there in spirit a lot of the time. (Not saying this is the case with you btw - just sharing my own experience) Essentially, don’t feel bad just because your symptoms are less severe than others - we all suffer to different degrees at different times and we all handle situations differently. Feel free to use this outlet or pretty much anyone in here to talk to rather than taking it all on your own shoulders.

Really sorry to hear about your mum - it’s an awful thing for the whole family to go through, especially so soon after losing your mother in law - Hopefully the surgeon and your mum is right and she’s on the way to recovery.

If you find some of this stuff persists then remember you can always speak to your GP privately and there’s never any harm in running through a the GAD7 and PHQ9 tests online; depression or not, they’ll give you a guide as to whether your mental health is improving overall or not, which can quite often be difficult to judge for yourself.