How's your depression?


#1746

apologies in advance for this, but just need to offload somewhere. i really don’t know what to do anymore. i hate my job and can barely afford to live on the pittance they pay me, but am so worn out and find the job hunting process so soul destroying that i don’t really hold out much hope of finding anything better.

five years after moving down here i still don’t really anybody other than people i know through my partner (or people from work) and tbh that all feels like it’s all totally falling apart. i’ve long since given up trying to talk to my family about mental health stuff.

dis has been a really valuable thing for me in the last year or so, but recently with all the fallout from the selfie thread (which i recognise was much needed) followed by all the jared o’mara stuff, this is all feeling pretty unstable now as well.

i just feel completely alone and i don’t know how much longer i can keep going. i’m so tired.

sorry everyone.


#1747

:heart: keep talking in here as much as you want, that’s the great thing about this thread

all the best :slight_smile:


#1748

I have a mental health crisis team number which I think I am probably meant to use in a situation like I am in now, in a state of anguish an distress that feels so intolerable… but what could they do really? Seriously don’t believe there is anything the mental health services can do for me anymore. Medication has done nothing for me (on my fifth type). I have been trying to do all of the right things to help myself which other people have encouraged me to do, but really I feel when I am doing these things or otherwise seeming to function I am just a fraud and it takes so much out of me… like today was ostensibly a productive, good day, but it has left me exhausted with my mind in tatters and I cannot sleep when I really need to.

I feel like there is no way up, and no way out either so I just have to keep up with trying to keep it together where other people are concerned, and go back to spending my meagre free time trying to sleep so I don’t have time to feel.


#1749

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so worn down. I can identify with the idea of having little confidence in mental health services being able to do anything for you- it can be totally exhausting trying to find the right course of treatment, but its worth persevering with. If you feel like you’re at a point where you need to use the crisis number, then give them a call, even if your expectations are minimal- they definitely won’t be able to help you if they don’t know you’re struggling and it can be good to talk to someone at points when you’re at your lowest.

I also think that the way you’re feeling when you say you’re trying to do the right things is not that unusual. You’re not a fraud in following people’s advice and still not feeling great, but I can understand why you’d have anxiety or frustration if you felt you weren’t getting the result you’d hoped for by doing it.

I only saw a couple of your posts yesterday, but it sounded like you were keeping busy. It can be good to be active, but if you think it’s that which is contributing to your exhaustion, then cut back a little until you feel more able. There’s no need to put pressure on yourself to feel mentally ok because you’ve had a productive day, and feeling low doesn’t mean that the things you’ve been doing had no value so that’s worth reflecting on.


#1750

Hey @Flashinglight, sorry I can’t offer much today - physically run down and off work sick - but wanted to add to this from NotEvenDreams.

Would agree that sometimes less is more; while it can be quite rewarding to keep busy and get a lot done, it’s worthwhile sometimes trying to just accept that you’re not up to it. (Easier said than done when you have kids and there’s essential things that you can’t not do though, I’m sure). Anyway, I found when I was at my lowest, the most helpful thing I could do for myself was to read and immerse myself in fiction. I’ve said to my therapist that it’s a form of escapism - I’m not doing anything ‘useful’, nor am I spending that time facing up to my MH, but as she pointed out, I’m still managing to keep busy while reading when I don’t think I can do anything else, it doesn’t drain me and I could be doing much worse things to “escape” my thoughts (or the emptiness in my head).

Dunno if this is in anyway useful, but it might be worth thinking about things that are easy to do and that you enjoyed in the past and whether you can drop something else to spend a bit of time looking after yourself and trying to do those things for a while. (Again, easier said than done, I know)


#1751

Thank you @NotEvenDreams and @colinzealuk, you both are great and always have helpful things to say. I was trying to write a more detailed response but it is taxing me too much to try and make it coherent and not too bleak.


#1752

has anyone ever had themselves committed? is this a viable thing right now? does it cost money?

I really don’t know how to cope anymore. I can’t be a social person anymore. I can barely bring myself to do routine things. I just spend most days going over desperate daydreams of a better life that is impossible, trying to negotiate delusions or something through imagined conversations. I’m mostly on the verge of chest pain anxiety or tears, if I’m not in that state already. I don’t know how to overcome this state I am in.


#1753

had to have my mum committed late last year, hardest thing I’ve ever done I think.

She’s back home now and doing better but boy that was a tough time. We only got a place after about 3 years of her declining mental health and probably calling an ambulance for her somewhere around 20 times in a year for what I can only describe as the most extreme anxiety attacks I’ve ever seen, she’d wake up in the morning and just make this kinda whimpering moaning sound for hours on end.

Anyway sorry enough about me, and it’s a case in point that things can improve as she’s doing much better at home now and we chat and share a laugh about stuff and a good part of her old self is back with me.

I’ve also gone through periods of terrible anxiety where I have to leave the house for walks for hours on end and feel nervous and sick all the time, thankfully haven’t had a bout of this for at least 6 months so again, I’m proof that things can improve!

Can you think of any little things that bring you joy? Happy to chat to you about any stuff like that if you need a friend to take your mind off stuff.

Be well and safe x


#1754

certainly doesn’t cost anything. if you tell your gp you cant cope & have been considering harming yourself i don’t think there’ll be any viability barriers either.

its fucking awful you’re at this point, but just seconding bam - i had someone close to me admitted fairly recently and it made for a really noticeable improvement in their mental health in the long run. i’m sure it’s a frightening option but i’m positive it can be beneficial too.

love x


#1755

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:


#1756

I am so sorry it has got that bad for you, it doesn’t have to be as extreme as getting yourself ‘committed’. You can get yourself to A&E, they are there for mental health emergencies too. Someone will see you, say about how you can’t cope, and I don’t know if things vary across the country, they probably do… when I had to do this before I got transferred to an assessment ward which I was on for a couple of days and then I released myself into community care, but obviously there is then also a pathway of going to another mental health unit if that is the better recovery option.

Things can get better, I really believe they will get better for you x


#1757

Really sorry to hear you think things are that bad for you at the moment. As @Flashinglight says, there may be an option for you to be admitted to an assessment ward or unit on a voluntary /informal basis. This would definitely be a better option for inpatient treatment if possible. In terms of being committed, if an assessment demonstrates that a person is a danger to themselves and/or others then they could be sectioned and detained under the mental health act, but I would very much hope this wouldn’t be necessary in your case as it would likely mean a restriction on your freedoms until a further assessment determines you’re no longer a risk- this might not bother you today, but could be an issue were you to decide you’d rather look after yourself at home in day/week/month’s time but couldn’t leave without agreement from a mental health practitioner.

I’m not sure how much engagement you’ve had with mental health services (have you been assessed before and offered any treatment/therapy or are you stuck waiting?), but would encourage you to try and push for more help as a day patient if you can. Being admitted to a mental health unit can and does help many people, but personally I’m not sure I’d want to go down that route (and certainly wouldn’t want to be sectioned) until I’d tried other options. Being placed in a unit with other people suffering mental health issues may not impact on you in any way, but it’s worth being aware that potentially it could be quite an intense experience.

Stay strong- there are people here wishing you well and whilst it can be hard to see at the time, this down period will end for you- keep pushing to get help if you can.


#1758

@incandenza, there are a lot of good points here to consider, and I really think trying to stay voluntarily in treatment is a better option than the restriction of being sectioned - just by the fact that you recognise you need help and want it shows you quite likely would not be sectioned. A very important thing you might not be thinking of is that quite likely as an inpatient you would not be able to spend much time alone and that might not be something you want. Obviously places are probably all different, but at the assessment ward I was on you had an individual room to sleep in, but you weren’t allowed to stay in there past 8am, then you had to stay in the communal area other than the brief time you saw the psychologist (psychiatrist? I always forget which is which), where there was a lot of people and a lot of noise (tv constantly on itv :disappointed:). I had a panic attack at one point and wanted to sit in the hallway as it was the only relatively quiet place, but I wasn’t allowed to stay there. So I don’t know if being on a longer term ward would be similar, but you may not necessarily find the environment suitable so it is best to be there voluntarily if you can, and of course it can be a very positive step in getting treatment and being taken seriously. Even if you aren’t staying on a ward you might be able to get regular visits from a community team (nurses, occupational therapists, etc).
Really pulling for you, you can get through this x


#1759

Has anyone ever successfully dealt with serious mental exhaustion caused by work-related stress?

I’m an absolute mess at the minute. Three years of stress caused by silly stuff at work not getting resolved. At the point now where it feels like my kidneys are packing in (there will be other factors to this, but ultimately caused by the stress).

Took some time off, but i can’t think about anything else. Constant catastrophising about it to the point that i’m pretty much bedridden with fatigue.

How do you suddenly start not worrying about something, bearing in mind that i’d sooner not drink or take anything whilst having (undiagnosed) kidney issues, and being too weak for even light exercise?


#1760

Hey, I’ve just read this. You were on my mind yesterday for some reason so I guess it’s timely.

The whole situation sounds really difficult and stressful for you. Having been through bereavement(s) recently, it’s really tough to do this and juggle being a dad as well.

For what it’s worth, I remember feeling a lot of the things you’re feeling when my eldest was around the same age as yours is now. It’s exhausting work. I’m happier than I was back then, but still I’m sometimes in tears in front of my children and it feels awful, like the opposite of what a dad is supposed to be like. (I know this is a social construct but still, it’s tough.

In terms of taking a break - I’m taking it that childcare is hard to come by at the moment?

You’re a great guy; if you ever need to DM to offload then feel free.


#1761

sorry to hear you’re not doing well.

i spent some time on a psychiatric ward last year, as both an in and out patient. PM me if you want to talk about it.


#1762

It’s not something I’ve experienced myself, but hopefully someone else can offer some better concrete advice.

Is going to see a GP and getting signed off an option for you? If so that might help alleviate things short term. In terms of the root stuff at work, are you at an organisation large enough that there’s occupational health or HR teams you can go to about these things, or is it a smaller one where that route isn’t really an option?

I also know you’ve said that even light exercise isn’t really a thing you can do, but I know quite a few people here have found going for a walk somewhere quiet and away from other people to be useful at times. Even if it’s just to sit in a nearby park with a book on a nice day there’s just a small chance it may distract you slightly from work troubles.


#1763

I’m 25 and I’m starting to get that… that horrible realisation that time isn’t an unlimited resource. I’m learning that you have to use time well if you want to get anywhere. I’ve wasted about 4 years of my life doing basically nothing and it freaks me out a bit.

I think our generation faces very different circumstances to previous ones though, where everyone achieved their milestones at much younger ages. Doing everything before you’re 30 isn’t the norm anymore. Plus life expectancy has gone up.


#1764

In fact, in a way I feel sorry for people who achieve so much at a young age. I wouldn’t want my life to peak now.


#1765

Finding it really difficult to cope today, and I really need to be getting stuff done today. Really stuck