How's your depression?


Yeah, I feel pretty rational about it a lot of the time but I dunno there’s like a biological reaction in me that takes over sometimes. I sometimes think maybe it’s naive/childish/unhealthy to expect painful breakups or missing someone to go away completely. Guess sorta being unhappy with myself and my situation doesn’t help there either.

I’ll be alright


I always find this too…the way i feel things gets amplified and then it becomes perpetuating cycle of feeling shit. Idk, I don’t think feelings can ever just “go away” can they…at best we can recontextualise them and not feel as connected to people…but in general if you’re feeling a general need for companionship then particularly memorable relationships of the past are going to be string triggers atm.

I feel like I’m waffling…it seems like you’ve got a good grasp on what you’re feeling and why, just want to say physical manifestations of mental distress are horrible and I think I can empathise.


yeah sometimes I just get annoyed with myself because I feel like generally I’m a pretty decent person and have stuff to offer but I’ve always kind of messed up my life through hanging on to trauma for too long and living day to day for years instead of taking any steps to have a better life.

Ah well


It’s never too late bammers.

Once you’re a world famous expert in ms paint the whole word will want you



yeah I guess it’s best to keep trying :slight_smile:


Nature of poor mental health, innit.

FWIW, going back to your original question, I don’t know that there’s a right or wrong way of handling trauma or anxiety, but what I have found quite helpful of late is to accept that my depression and associated anxieties are part of me at the moment, but to try not to let them define me (if that makes sense).

Obviously the ideal place to be in the future is somewhere that anxiety and feelings don’t impact on me, but while they do I’ve realised that I just need to roll with it rather than try and fight against it for now, and if that means sometimes I can’t do something or let someone I care about down, so be it - they pretty much all know what I’m dealing with anyway.

(edit - I would add that I in no way consider my own experiences to be anywhere near as bad as those some others on here have had, so while this works for me, your own mileage may vary)


You’ve got so much time, it’s far too early to talk about “wasting” your life

Some of my favourite people are those in their 40s/50s (or older) who have had traumatic lives but finally manage to find peace/happiness later on (John Grant, for example).


I know she does, that’s why she finds it hard, but i’m constantly sad and frustrated and I don’t seem to know how to stop it. I rely on her for basically everything and it takes its toll on both of us. I feel guilty all the time and stupid for moving here sometimes and that just hurts her.

It’s ok, I’d rather not owe anyone else money, but thanks for the thought.


HOW do you even work out what it is you actually want from life? I have no idea


I just want to be loved I guess


I’m fucked if I know. I rarely know what I want for dinner let alone from life.



given people in here are talking about xmas, specifically the bit between xmas and the new year being a bit difficult would it be worth doing a DiS meat on the 28th/29th maybe?

(not sure of when i’ll be about around that time but thought it was worth putting it out there)


Keep on having very vivid dreams, woke up from the first one I would describe as a nightmare. It’s really horrid stuff


My mood has been pretty good so far.

I wouldn’t say my life is at all better, it’s just that I’ve become much better at managing my mood. I think the key is just to figure out what you really like doing (even if it’s just reading about something) and spend all your free time doing something somewhat constructive with that (even if it’s something silly). Because that becomes everything your mind focuses on. It stops you obsessing about past mistakes you’ve made and thinking ‘what if?’. You stop giving as much of a shit about things you can’t change. Seems to work for me anyway.

Having 5 days in a row without drinking also helps a lot.


Basically, always having something to look forward to when you get back from work, and having something to do every weekend (on Friday, Saturday and Sunday) is absolutely crucial. It makes every week seem a lot less intense.


Yeah, depending on when & where, I think this sounds like a pretty splendid idea.


Hi everyone,

Real respect for those keeping the advice going in this thread, really great people.

Think I’ve reached an end tbh…reached the end of my sickness limit for my uni this year and can’t continue. In honesty, totally and utterly crushed. Don’t feel like there’s a way back now. And its my fault…the support is there, I just can’t seem to benefit from it.

Don’t know what my aim is with this post but you’re a great group and I’m feeling really shit right now.


Hey wonton,

Really sorry to hear this. I can’t recall exactly your situation at uni, but have you spoken to a friendly tutor about the reality of your situation? Is deferral until next year an option so you can take the time to try and get yourself back on track without the stress of your course?

My PMs are always open if you need to vent more privately - not sure how much I’ll be able to actively help, but I’ll always happily listen if you need.

Keep safe x



Job I applied for did a reference check and it pinged back that last year at my old work I had more than 7 days off sick. I gave the new employer a vague explanation (“stress”) as I feel that’s all I have to say, but now they want me to show proof that I’m still seeking help and support to prevent my condition interfering with my ability to work for them. I don’t take my antidepressants anymore and I’m no longer in therapy but even if I did/was I’m not at all comfortable with them knowing this.

Very tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves tbqh, I’m pretty sure they have no right to make me prostrate myself for the sake of a fucking job.



that’s so shit

I’d let it settle a bit before replying or anything, and at least sleep on it. I always find I’ve come up with a way of responding to something in my sleep without realising it.