How's your depression?


not feeling too bad for once just now, I guess I’m just making a note to myself here and checking in:

Was home (as in Scotland) for 48 hours at the weekend and saw lots of great people and generally had a good time, but lamented how I didn’t have enough time to do everything or very much of one thing and that I do miss it (or at least, things about it) often. Given I was at a friend’s wedding inevitable thoughts about the future came up, something that generally terrifies me.

Meanwhile, in the background I’m kinda dealing with a professional stress and situation I unwittingly caused myself and still isn’t really resolved despite my best efforts. Don’t really know what to do about it because I don’t want to keep going on about it and seem needy but I don’t really know where I stand with it all now.

University is ok, i guess, but still don’t feel totally comfortable there.


I’ve had a bad week. I think because of too much alcohol/regret last weekend but this is the lowest I’ve felt in ages.


Thanks. It is just a frustrating mess… I waited nearly a year from the therapy referral to actually get an appointment and then I am cut loose after four sessions. I don’t know if there are any self-referral services, but I am seeing my GP tomorrow so I will see what they think as generally they have been pretty supportive.


Good luck with the GP. Have my fingers crossed for you.


Hey man,

Things seem pretty transient for you, which I understand can be just as stressful as being stuck in a rut, but on the plus side its really good to hear how much perspective you have about how things might affect you. As much as being in Scotland may have made you feel like you were missing out on some things…it sounds like there were positives to take from it, also :slight_smile:

If you’re referring to posting on here and feeling “needy”, then I’m sure plenty of others would agree that there’s no need to feel that way. I’m not sure if you’ve outlined the work situation before ITT, but happy to have my ear bent if not.

Take care x



I could talk for hours about alcohol and mood (but this isn’t about me, of course), if you want to PM me about going into in more detail I’m always happy to listen. Hope things get better sooner rather than later!


To be fair I’m starting CBT this week so I think i’m just trying to make a point of gathering my thoughts

And nah, nothing to do with posting on here, I wouldn’t use the word “needy” in that context because that’s not really helpful. Can’t really talk about “work” “publically” though.



Wow great track. The title had my expecting something quite dark, not this burst of excitement. Listening to the rest of your stuff now.


That’s fine (with regards to mentioning work).

I hope your experience with CBT is positive :slight_smile: I don’t know if you’ve had it before but it is effective for many people…and there are other options for those who don’t get on with it.


I started it earlier in the year but couldn’t finish because I moved, so hopefully, we’ll see


Ssris make me insanely fidgety and anxious (and extremely reckless) for the first month. It will improve as your body adapts.


Erm for me it wasnt too bad. Just had to tense up in order cum (and would take ages and not be particularly pleasurable). It also made me not at all horny like I still enjoyed sex but I wouldn’t get like an urging desire to fuck or anything. I actually quite liked that.

But it made the relationship difficult. Simply because even when you know its the drugs its hard to not take it personally when I went floppy or could not cum.

Things that helped me was slower sex where I could concentrate on the sensations and taking the medication in the mornings or after sex. That said go to your go and say you have sexual problems and ask for Wellbutrin, along side, or instead of your ssri. They will tell you to wait first and that it will get better as you adapt but in my expirence and friends expirence there isn’t a noticeable improvement even after months.


Man it can take a long while to adapt. Go to Erasmus or exchange student clubs meeting. Check if there is a couch surfing community ect. I mean you might have done/or dont feel like doing these things but its such a normal reaction to moving loads of people will be in a similar place. I moved around a lot as a kid and then at uni. It gets better. Even if you never feel like you properly fit in.


I find drone and ambient music really helps me when my thoughts are spinning out of control. But you are right you just need to find something enjoyable that you can focus on. Really need to pick up meditation!


Stories like this are so common and make me insanly angry about the state of mental health in this country!


i’m not really sure where these groups are if they exist, it’s quite a isolating experience


I’ve spent so much time doing enjoyable things, I haven’t actually done anything productive in that time (i.e. get a proper job) since writing that post. I’ve spent the past few weeks working on this really daft but enjoyable project (for pleasure only, music-related, nothing at all serious), but I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time on it and now it’s nearly fucking December! :hushed:

I’m glad I’ve discovered this enjoyable activity but I think I might have an actual obsession with it. It’s worked wonders for my mood (and arguably my health, I don’t drink as much because I’m always working on it), but my goodness I’ve wasted a lot of time.

My life at the moment is all leisure and very little work, which might sound like paradise but there’s always this ‘OMG WTF am I doing with my life?’ thought that bothers you.

Sorry this is probably a weird post.


Doing something creative should never be seen as a waste of time, in fact, the opposite. being employed by someone to do mundane tasks is the ultimate waste of time, typing spreadsheets, answering the phone in a call center, doing admin etc is completely redundant and for me would give me more of a WTF am i doing with my life…
What you’re doing is equating the money you receive from employment with success and happiness, which is more to do with looking the people around you and comparing their lifestyles with yours. But spend time doing the things you enjoy and worry about the other stuff when you feel ready … even if you get back into work on minimum wage (you would still be in the richest 8% in world globally)


think I’m going to need a much stronger dose of Sertraline. I can’t face the reality that exists in lieu of the same daydream that drags me through each day.

just got a reminder that things are not likely to be as I want them to be for a long time, if ever, and I have fallen apart.

I knew that what I’ve been on has just enabled me to maintain the somewhat delusional hope that gets me out of bed, makes me do anything at all, but I didn’t know how easily I would end up being crushed when I inevitably was reminded of this.

it was so nice, of late. the hope that had sprung up in the absence of anything to suggest otherwise, fostered also by certain social interactions.

hope is insidious, isn’t it. the way your mind craves it, looks for loopholes, cracks of light.


need to go into class. got a required practical. don’t know how I’m going to make myself leave my bedroom, let alone the house, let alone walk all the way there in the cold and have to talk to people, or listen, or do anything