think I’m going to need a much stronger dose of Sertraline. I can’t face the reality that exists in lieu of the same daydream that drags me through each day.
just got a reminder that things are not likely to be as I want them to be for a long time, if ever, and I have fallen apart.
I knew that what I’ve been on has just enabled me to maintain the somewhat delusional hope that gets me out of bed, makes me do anything at all, but I didn’t know how easily I would end up being crushed when I inevitably was reminded of this.
it was so nice, of late. the hope that had sprung up in the absence of anything to suggest otherwise, fostered also by certain social interactions.
hope is insidious, isn’t it. the way your mind craves it, looks for loopholes, cracks of light.