How's your love life DiS?


#3290

Maybe you’ll be able to do that better when you’re out of the house and more settled in your own environment? It must be hard to still be in the family home and trying to mentally separate yourself.

It’s not something you need to rush either and it will get easier with time.


#3291

possibly. sometimes I think I just need to man up and get on with it, then I think, 20 years gone. It’s no wonder I’m struggling to deal with it all.


#3292

You don’t need to “man up”. You can feel how you want to feel and take as long as you want. It’s doesn’t make you less of a man for being upset about this, anyone would be exactly the same.

I know you’re hurt and confused at the moment but time will pass and you will start to look at the good things that came out of those 20 years. You’ve got wonderful children who know you love them very much.

But yeah, it’s fucking shit and I feel for you.


#3293

last two days have been horrible, but I guess I just have to accept what a friend said, that Tinder matches aren’t people until you meet them.

I find it very hard talking to people and being the best, truest version of me if I don’t invest some trust in a person, though. so… yeah, idk.

receiced a nice message from a very beautiful girl over the Pennines late last night. here we go again. just got to somehow try and not feel hurt when it doesn’t work out.


#3294

thank you. that’s so nice, trying to stop the tears again here. go back to moaning and I’ll be rude again :smile:


#3295

You massive prick.

She’s right though. There’s no right way to deal with what you’re going through, and you don’t have to fulfil a stereotype. Take your time, it’s massive. Friends will want to help but won’t know how, but there’ll definitely be loads of support around you if and when you need it.


#3296

People are being lovely. Friends family and you guys on here. It does help. I do tend to blub when people are being nice at the moment though. I’ve always been a bit emotional though. I’ll cry watching Neighbours :slight_smile: don’t get me started on DIY SOS


#3297

We’ve got you x


#3298

what happened with the lass you were on about upthread? ^


#3299

You’re not human if you don’t cry at DIY SOS


#3300

the girl from the US? she’s off on tour around the UK doing puppetry for the War Horse play. we were going to go see Isle of Dogs before then, but she couldn’t find the time.

back in Salford in June. maybe I’ll hang out with her then?

this girl I’m chatting to right now is immediately making my eyes light up. hard not to invest myself to much in her already.


#3301

I used to torment myself by watching loads of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

The americans really do hammer that tear factor home


#3302

she’s coming round in a few minutes to pack/pick up a load of her stuff from the flat.

i just had to sort through folders and folders of dvds trying to remember which ones were originally mine.

feeling quite weird atm.


#3303

<3 really sorry about all of this. I hope maybe you can get something out of it in terms of… just like, even terribly sad things, if they don’t stop us from being able to live, they can enrich our lives. I mean, those seven years weren’t wasted, right?


#3304

I can’t believe how well things are going with this girl who messaged me last night.

obviously got to be zen and realistic and whatever, but… wow. there is so much that we have in common.

life eh, 'kin 'ell.


#3305

i think i might never have a long-term relationship. not sure if this is a relief or a burden?

it’s utterly baffling to me that not only are a lot of my friends in long term relationships, but they’ve been in multiple long term relationships. two of my boyfriends were long distance and the other one was a desperation thing at school. but i’m unwilling to change my picky and standoffish ways (on dating apps), so it’s on me really. hoping to meet someone suitable irl in Tunbridge Wells would be an act of god.

but i really like being alone, so i think a relationship might be a bit suffocating for me


#3306

i often think this but it might just be cos i’ve never really had a proper one


#3307

It’s definitely something you need to navigate. I’ve made the mistake of not being clear on just how much time alone I need to be happy (mostly because I hadn’t realised myself, tbf) and it was a source of tension, but if you communicate your needs and your partner is receptive to them then it’s fine.

I could always do with more alone time, though. Like… all of it.


#3308

Re: alone time, I think I get my balance enforced by banding all the fucking time.

Like this week I can only see my lady tonight, as I had band Monday and Tuesday, and also have it Thursday and Friday. Usually it’s only two days a week, which is a decent balance.


#3309

You definitely need to take some time to do your own thing in any relationship. My other half is out tonight, tomorrow and Friday night - I can’t wait to get my head down and make some music with some headphones on away from the lounge.