could you BE any less respectful?
really missing my ex and Berlin just now, first it was from seeing ‘Someone Great’ by LCD and ‘About Today’ by The National live, this weekend it’s because shes sorting out cancelling my health insurance in Germany and I just feel so fucking gutted that it isn’t my life anymore and I wasted my time with her and there and it’s really hard having her be so distant.
This new thing on OKC where you can’t find out who sent you a message unless you find out who they are and mutually like them is a bit shite, right? Shows how popular I am that I don’t come across this development until it’s probably been around for moooonnntthhhss
I’ve avoided this problem by liking pretty much everyone on there (not actually that hard - don’t seem to be many people on that site anymore. killed by Tindr, bumble and their commitment to making it horrible and unusable
yeah, done with that app. Tinder is the only one that’s ever worked for me.
I’m considering it (Bumble doesn’t seem to be working and I can pretend Tinder might. Sheeeesh, [insert heavy-handed satire about modern dating here])
Bumble is rubs. and the vast majority on there are… umm… idk. normies? and dog people. (I like dogs, and dog people are great, and all the girls I’ve spoken to of late have been dog people first and foremost, but they have at least been interesting too).
I’ve gotten the hang of Tinder, I think. I mean I’m very picky, and it still isn’t easy when somebody has no bio, trying to message.
you just have to find the balance between ordinary and stimulating in your opener. something they can actually respond to, that isn’t too reductive and boring, but also isn’t too out there.
like, don’t go full mutesl branches straight off the bat. be more approachable, let it grow from simpler exchanges. people open up as they get comfortable talking to you.
I mean… I was chatting to a taxidermist in April, and she launched into a full-on taxidermy message pretty early on. which was amazing, even if she ended up seeing someone else.
just… start cute, with a grain of interest. ask questions that allow them to open up.
on dog people:
my mate has started sending me screenshots of profiles with Golden Retrievers in them because it appears to be the same one in all of them going “wheyyy” and there’s an incredible amount of them. It amuses us anyway
that is amusing
dogs are pretty good, ngl.
It’s still very nice
Haha trust me, I’m way too chicken at showing any kind of personality in a first interaction with someone i like. (Which is as bad as it is good, i guess)
it is hard, trying to find a balance. like, in all social interactions, trying to walk the line between (in my case) overactive fearful defensive deference and being, y’know, who you actually are.
most of the time, it doesn’t feel worth the potential rejection to be really true to myself. and I feel so out of practice.
Contrary to popular opinion, okc is very good and full of excellent people, and the new functionality is pretty decent imo, after a bit of a mess of an implementation. Tinder is pure shit, it’s all just guesswork and unnecessary emotional labour. Not used bumble, cba.
Was with someone from okc for the third time last night (not sure I would call it a date, think we’re already past that) and it was amazing, as is she, and it’s definitely the beginning of something long term. Also just excited for the future and other possibilities that will arise.
(The terrible truth may be that my online dating profiles are literally terrible)
I should def start my offline profile (ie. that sandwich board). I’ll make the font really cool and striking
You seem proper rad on here tbh
Thank you, I am certain though if I were trying to get that across on a dating profile though I would fail miserably. I think they just don’t work for lots of people, they aren’t set up for my kind of type (though neither is irl asking out/dating tbh tbf).
I identify strongly with this (I think)
Made extended (like, 3s lol) eye contact with two guys on my way home, but they didn’t smile so I think they were probs just wondering if I needed help/where my glasses were from
Most action I’ve had in years