Being kept up at six in the morning by the fact that I’m anxious I might never meet someone who seems to be as much on “my wavelength” as the person I last really liked / the fact that seemingly out of everyone on the internet dating things, there seems to be barely anyone on said wavelength. Regrets are irritating me as much as this early morning bout of hay fever, and thinking I might have ruined my love life through total inactivity (again). In conclusion, everything’s depressing.
I think my antenna is broken
My antenna that receives signals telling me not to post on the Internet when I wake up at 6am feeling miserable is definitely broke
Relatively non existent. But 2 things
First is I’ve been hanging out with a friend a lot more recently I’ve known for 4 or so years now. Just us on our own generally but sometimes with others but even then it’s predominantly been us two chatting to each other amongst everyone else. I’ve always kind of fancied her I guess as she’s this cool fashion designer type, has a weird americ/brit accent due to where she’s moved to at various points in her life and looks a lot Britta off Community (just for a visual reference to this story).
Perhaps a reason why we haven’t even got together even causally is we seem to be single at different times from each other, and this is the first time possibly ever since we’ve known each other we’ve been single at the same time. She regularly compliments me in passing on how I look, how “cool” I am (lol) so I really don’t think this is one sided, at least finds me attractive, right?
The obvious thing people would say here is “go for it!” But man I’m 32, I’ve been lucky in having some great relationships but having just come out of a relatively long one for me I appreciate my own time so much, and indeed being around friends. As much as I look at her and think about her and think of how great she is perhaps it should stay as that because she’s a great great friend who I can have fun with and talk to and be creative with and that’s important, probably more important to me know than it was 5 years ago. I sense she might have the same trepidations too, normally if I fancy someone I very quickly make that clear and if they feel the same then great, we start seeing each other and it goes well or it doesn’t. The fact we’ve known each other this long and we’re quite close at the moment, feels wrong to fuck it up by being like “hey mate I actually really fancy you, let’s give this a go maybe huh?”
Maybe it’s because I’ve not had sex with anyone since I split up with my girlfriend a couple of months back?
Equally I could be reading everything wrong, I think if I knew she didn’t fancy me a bit I would quash these feelings one way or another. Regardless I doubt very much i’ll make a move and a big part of me hopes these feelings subside. We’ll see.
Was out last Friday with friends and got super drunk, ended up at some awful metal club my friends dragged me to. saw a friend and she introduced me to her friend who was great and I fancied her right away. Danced for a bit with her, went in for a kiss and she’s like “oh no I’m seeing a guy I shouldn’t” and I told her it’s cool no worries and we both laughed it off carried on chatting and hanging out then went our separate ways at the end of the night. All fine!
Next day added me on Facebook, started sending flirty messages, asking what I’m up to if I’m around at the weekend to meet up. I don’t know what to do! As great as she seems realised after she added me there’s a big age gap between us (she’s 21) and having just got out of a relationship with someone 9 years younger (which to be honest a part of me always felt a bit uncomfortable with for better or worse) the prospect of hanging out with someone in even a remotely romantic context that much younger grosses me out, not the fact that they are younger but more how it makes me look, that perhaps I am controlling or manipulative, or only date someone because of their looks rather than their personality, that I don’t have the emotional maturity now to date someone closer to my age, which isn’t the case of course, that’s just my insecurities I guess, and maybe projecting my perceptions I have of older men who date younger women, idk.
Also is she seeing someone? Was she lying? These are questions I don’t wanna be asking myself, could be getting myself into trouble I don’t want or need!
Again why it’s so much better just to be on my own, at least for the moment as I really can’t state enough how much I enjoy being on my own too and having my own time. I do not miss one iota having a girlfriend, but I do enjoy that feeling of fancing someone and obviously would like to have sex with someone I like at some point!
Not even looking for advice here, not moaning, just wanted to write that all down. Thanks for reading.
Still in the absolute pits. It’s nearly 4 months in and I don’t feel any better at all. Still living at home on the sofa. Some people telling me to move out, others saying stay put. Really don’t know what to do. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I couldn’t care less tbh.
I have entered the depths of tinder for the first time in my life: #prayforsevered
I’ve never been through this, but if it were me, I’d want to get my own space as soon as possible.
i know people often tell men to “stay put” as a way of increasing their chances of getting the house, but realistically is that going to happen? Might be better just to get out and start moving on with things
I’m beginning to think this is what I’ll have to do. She is being very understanding about it all and assure me that the house will be sold and we will split the equity. She can’t afford to stay on her own anyway. It’s just such a massive wrench. Leaving the house, her and the kids.
i can’t imagine anyone thinking this, either after knowing you for ages like me or as a first impression
haha I linked my spotify account and it chose “I Need My Girl” by The National as my “anthem”, cheers for that lads.
I mean I know this about myself of course, just no one wants to seem like this guy do they?
(Charachter obviously, McConaughey seems like he’s alright)
Caragorically not going there anyway, lady in question seems like a lot of trouble which I cannot be arsed with, ha!
in what way?
UPDATE: I’ve been found in less than 24 hours by the girl I posted about a week or so ago. This is going well
I’ve found her, we matched. Some serious International Relations Theory shit that
I might get Tinder. Can’t believe this time a year and a half ago I was thinking “I’ll give Tastebuds a try” and then, since realising that website is pretty much dead (or, more likely, no-one on there fancies me), I’ve signed up for a bunch more of these things (bc no-one on these platforms fancies me).
I WENT ON LITERALLY ONE DATE AND ONE DATE ALONE* THOUGH
*I don’t mean I went on the date alone, though this would be quite in-character tbh
being single isn’t so bad folks
depends on how good you are at convincing yourself that you are great though.
tbh a lot of the time me feeling sad about being single actually = me being sad about not having asked someone out who I really liked, and stuff like that. STUPID MANCHES