How's your love life DiS?


#4071

Or he’s faithful to his partner :wink:


#4072

THEN DONT GO ON A DATE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

THIS ISNT A CRAZY NEW CONCEPT


#4073

this has done me


#4074

That comment was in jest… But whether or not it was a ‘date’ as such, with all the usual connotations is quite unclear to me.

Going round in circles here, finished with this.


#4075

we’re not exactly sending the guy to the gallows over this

just trying to help our friend make sense of an odd and unsettling situation

I know from experience that sometimes men are just really quiet about their girlfriend cause they don’t know how it might affect a new relationship they’re exploring, or they just want to get laid or whatever. I’ve shagged loads of guys who I later found out weren’t actually single and sometimes are even married with kids lol.


#4076

Yeah I get that, but there has been a bit of jumping to conclusions going on which I feel is a bit unfair.


#4077

there’s almost a thread in taking friendships into meeting up etc. it’s hilariously awkward. i have gotten solid at it and now end up with a few newbies in my life each year from meeting by chance and then having to work out a way of saying “erm do you want to…friend more with me?” :'D


#4078

sorry about the massive derail here @imaperv, I doubt it’s that helpful for us all to wade in and focus on one thing

hope this gets resolved in a way that’s good for you x


#4079

Oh god I want to make friends but I can’t bring myself to even go “wanna go for a coffee?”


#4080

i’ve kind of gotten into an okay routine for getting to the ‘let’s have a pub lunch’ point but christ every time i’m cringing at myself so hard


#4081

Oh dear, I just wanted to vent really earlier :grimacing:

I’ve definitely misread the situation and thought that yeah it was pretty much a date. That was never confirmed though so it’s on me that I misunderstood

Howeverrrrrrr

Both of us at several points over the last 6 months have explicitly expressed interest in each other. I’ve construed his behaviour since then through that lens - as have our mutual friends from witnessing us interacting irl. They are as shocked as I am because it seemed nailed on

I don’t think he would have been deliberately malicious in any of this, but I’m very confused and think I might be missing some info that would make this make more sense. I wish I’d not had those expectations because we had a great time but obviously now I’m really embarrassed and ashamed of how deluded I was about the whole thing. Hope that clarifies some stuff


#4082

fwiw the second you pointed out to me the things i’d missed, i immediately thought that you were understandably led to believe he was interested. it wasn’t you being deluded dude, it was his either accidental or deliberate obfuscation of what was going on. you’re solid.


#4083

you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, and this would be true even if he hadn’t been giving signals over a period of several months that he wanted it to go this way. There are loads of reasons why he might not have wanted to take it further this time - all of us are obviously just speculating here - but in no scenario is it at all shameful or silly that you simply expressed what you wanted x


#4084

But even if you didn’t have those expectations, you’d have still been romantically interested in him to then find out he’s seeing someone.

He should have made it clear when you agreed to go out that he was seeing someone and it’ll just be as friends.

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong here and you shouldn’t be upset! It’s his shit he’s dealing with so leave him to it imo


#4085

Thanks guys :heart: xxx


#4086

tbh I know men and women that enjoy leading people on but have no intention on actually…following through, for lack of a better term. i think its really shitty behaviour, and leads to people seriously doubting themselves as a result.

doesn’t sound like this is your ‘fault’ at all. people are massive dickheads.


#4087

hmm.


#4088

Huh?


#4089

oh i was just fnaring


#4090

This is perhaps a very silly and millennial thing to get sad about but my ex gf has deleted all photos of me/us on Instagram over the 4 years we were together, and it has really quite upset me.