Not sure there’s much of a future if you’re calling them an idiot already tbh
Treat 'em mean. Get dumped.
Haven’t met someone I’ve properly fancied and felt genuinely excited about in ages. Starting to feel I’m incapable of those emotions anymore. On top of that I’m such a mess I don’t see anyone feeling that way about me ever again either. Kind of liberating to accept you’ll be single forever.
Oh hey, you somehow posted one of my posts. Weird.
I felt like this for a long long time. After splitting from my ex, I didn’t even think of meeting anyone for four years then for the past year or so, although I’ve been dating on and off and met some lovely people, I haven’t met anyone that’s really lit a fire in me and made me feel like a lovelorn teen again so I thought I was incapable of doing so.
Turns out that isn’t the case though, this girl I’ve been seeing over the past month has given me all of that teenage rush again (and accompanying levels of anxiety and self-doubt at times because that’s the kind of cool and rational guy I am), it reminds me of being a lovesick teenager all over again only now I’m 38 and there’s no excuse because unlike when I was a teen, she is reciprocating interest.
It can happen totally out of the blue when you least expect it (an hour into our first date as I mentioned above she was like ‘is this awkward?’). I won’t patronise you and say ‘keep the faith’ or anything stupid like that, but I think when you’re liberated to being single forever and then something appears it can be very cool.
Glad you’ve found that feeling again! You’ve given me a sliver of hope. Hope it continues to go well.
is there a polyamory thread anywhere?
quite like the idea of us becoming an open relationship at some point in the future but thinking about it also fills me with anxiety at the moment. think i need to read about it more to normalise the idea in my own head. wish i knew more poly people irl to hang out with. bit frustrating trying to talk to most non-poly people about it
There’s some great resources about polyamory online in terms of how it works and navigating the emotional aspects. The most important thing is to be 100% clear of your expectations with both yourself and your partner so that no one crosses any lines. Also remember that anyone you bring into your relationship is their own person with their own emotional needs and that you cannot expect anyone you meet to slot ideally into the functional role you desire of them.
Do you mean poly as in you can have other romantic partners or just physically open? If it’s the latter then happy to answer any questions you have if you’d like
There’s not a rolling one. There was a bit of chat about Open Relationships in this one, but it’s 18 months old, so who knows what monsters lie within.
Someone liked this and I laughed at the phrase “gross goblin man”
Might ask myself out on a date bc I am a snack and a half
possibly the former although that’s also scarier to think about
This is very good advice
From my extremely limited experience shrewbs, honesty and talking everything through with everyone is so important. The poly relationships that work do require a lot of emotional labour and constant communication between all parties. Don’t forget logistics too - I remember an old friend’s bf kept a group google calendar which sounded silly but it worked!
In contrast, the “poly” guys I dated tended to treat it as openly having affairs, which was obv a nightmare.
Hi, mentioned elsewhere but I’m very new to non-monogamy, so what I lack in experience I make up for in it being recent (i.e. I’m still right at the cliff shaped part of the learning curve), what i didn’t say though was feel free to DM me if you have any questions you think I can help with? I met a guy at a recent poly meet whose situation and timing was practically identical to mine (middle aged middle class white guys in long standing monogamous relationship opened up in December) and it was really helpful to hear similar experiences
And wrt to this:
we started very much it only being the latter but I found I like the romantic connection as much as the physical and doing the latter on its own wouldn’t work for me I don’t think. Basically looking for cool people I fancy who want to do things with me
Definitely is, I could handle/enjoyed/found it easy to just do physical (my idea, would try again) but the emotional side would not work for me at all I suspect. But happy to help at all if I can