How's your love life DiS?

yeah I chatted about the pandemic and then this guy was like “I hate self isolation, you wanna come over and have sex”

No pal. No, I don’t

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Can I ask for advice from any current/past long-distance relationshippers in this thread? I’d never have voluntarily got myself involved in an LDR, but thanks to the lockdown, me and my girlfriend are currently at opposite ends of the country, and who knows for how long?

We usually both live in the same city (but not together) and would spend probably 4-5 nights a week together. That means we’d never really communicate in the day, other than to finalise plans because we’d most likely be together in the evening.

We’re now talking on the phone/video chatting a lot and to be honest, I’m really struggling with it. Not helped by the fact that we don’t have much to catch up on as we’re both stuck in the house working all day. It’s starting to feel more like an obligation than something I actually want to do. I don’t think I’m cut out for long distance but it would be unfair for me to just check out and not give her the attention she deserves because she’s done nothing wrong.

Is anybody else struggling with this, or has experience of getting through something similar in the past?

I’ve actually been in this situation a couple of times due to previously having a gf that was based outside of the country. Wouldn’t say it was easy and I’d imagine the current circumstance complicates matters a bit. Chatting on the phone a few times a week and otherwise whatapping/texting every day helped a lot sending the occasional photo of what you’re up to to make it a bit more personal helps.

Unfortunately I can’t say there’s one particular thing that helped me get through it, possibly thinking of the situation as temporary? It’s a tricky one to be honest so I think it’s absolutely fine to struggle with it a bit at first.

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Done a stupid amount of long distance over the years and it’s never easy, but in these situations it’s a completely different ballgame.

I cba talking to anyone at the minute because there’s nothing to say. Every day is the same. Even more difficult with a partner I’d imagine. Have you told them how you’re feeling?

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I’ve been in a couple of long distance relationships and aye, it isn’t always easy to keep the chat going if you’re both not doing much.

What helped me sometimes was having activities going. Games of scrabble, watching films/telly together”, streaming videogames to one another/playing co-op videogames, doing quizzes, a book club sort of thing where you both have a few days to read something then talk about it etc.

If you haven’t already, it might be worth mentioning to her that you’re finding the long distance difficult but you deff want to keep at it. It’ll be an increasingly tough thing to bottle up, and she’ll hopefully appreciate the openness. Maybe she’ll feel the same.

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What the wife and I did when we were long distance was pretty much always have a video chat going and just do our normal stuff. There’d be long gaps where neither of us spoke, but that would be the same if we were living together. Just get used to being comfortable with silence together

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I was able to see my lover today briefly from a safe distance after dropping some shopping at hers as she’s self isolating. Couldn’t give her a hug but so lovely to see her. Bitter sweet doesn’t really cover it :frowning:

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I was feeling all piney this morning

As in pining for romance and things, this is not a joke about morning wood

OK maybe it sort of is

Definitely talk to her about it. Open and honest communication is one of the most important things in any relationship(even when we sometimes have to say stuff that might be hard for our partner to hear), but especially when you’re far away from your partner, you need to be candid with each other about how you’re feeling. She may be struggling in the same way as you! Or, she relies on hearing from you that regularly and then you’ll need to compromise so you’re both comfortable with the level of keeping in contact. Maybe on the days you don’t talk on the phone /over video chat/WhatsApp chat etc you just send a selfie or a picture of something you’re doing, just to show you’re thinking about each other without having the pressure of constantly thinking of things to say to each other when not much is going on.

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image

whoever that was, good work

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Could you not do a video call but just have each other on in the background? I kinda hate calls because there’s a specific pressure to have something to say. But if there was no pressure it would be fine, just like being with each other

Weirdly hardly ever video called my gf when we were longish distance. just had an ongoing whatsapp chat and sent loads of selfies and stuff, worked fine

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I kinda have a tiny crush on the couple in the BBC sounds advert I keep getting on Instagram.

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woke up today thinking that absolutely blitzed me last night had sent a bad cringy message to someone nice on okc, but turns out blitzed me actually sent something fine. phew.

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Just going through OkCupid and… men are so naff aren’t they??

just feeling sulky because wanting kids is a deal breaker for me and it feels like the profiles I’m more drawn to are ones where they want babies. Now I’m approaching 28 I can’t really ignore that as a factor ;(

Slightly strange one this, but do people ever get concerned when things seem too good/easy in a relationship? It’s definitely a hangover of previous attempts being more challenging and getting used to that being the norm so I’m almost entirely sure that this is just some unwarranted anxiety, was just wondering if anyone else had ever experienced it? (For the record I know it’s kinda amazing to get on with someone this well, especially given the current lockdown circumstances)

‘honeymoon period’

not to say that relationships are supposed to be ‘difficult’ but the first 6 months to a year of all my previous relationships have been very stress free for various reasons.

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Ah yeah, that’s a good shout

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