How's your toaster depression?


That a toaster won’t depress unless plugged in and switched on.


Oddly poetic


OMG! My thread title had been edited. I have been violated! Someone get me Geneva or Brussels or wherever on the phone while we still can!


can’t believe sean hasn’t sorted this yet.


It’s the notification that hurts the most.


Microwave stops banging out radiation when you open the door.


Oven only cooks what is in it and not everything within a five mile radius.


Also your brother in law hasn’t paid his subs. Can i have his address?


At mum’s pub yesterday, someone asked if our apple juice was pressed. Yes, apparently. Customer didn’t want that, so I said I could get some depressed apple juice, and pointed at the bottle and said “I’m very disappointed in you”.

I amused myself. Not so much her.


She sounds like a fruit juice James Bond.


sure it does. Enjoy irradiating your hands!



*not really


wait, she wanted shitey concentrate apple juice?

(you could have probably done a bit of concentrate banter by staring at the bottle etc)


and done a shite


good wordery there


oscar wilde eat yr heart out


Right I’m off to Rugoe with the full roast eater. Please enjoy yourself within the confines of this thread.


Oooh saving this one! #barmanbants


full roast in the back row
of the movies on a wednesday morn with you
we could stay forever, you and I
we could stay forever, you and I
eatin’ a full roast in the back row of the movies