How's your toaster depression?


#1

That a toaster won’t depress unless plugged in and switched on.


#2

Oddly poetic


#3

OMG! My thread title had been edited. I have been violated! Someone get me Geneva or Brussels or wherever on the phone while we still can!


#4

can’t believe sean hasn’t sorted this yet.


#5

It’s the notification that hurts the most.


#6

Microwave stops banging out radiation when you open the door.


#7

Oven only cooks what is in it and not everything within a five mile radius.


#8

Also your brother in law hasn’t paid his subs. Can i have his address?


#9

At mum’s pub yesterday, someone asked if our apple juice was pressed. Yes, apparently. Customer didn’t want that, so I said I could get some depressed apple juice, and pointed at the bottle and said “I’m very disappointed in you”.

I amused myself. Not so much her.


#10

She sounds like a fruit juice James Bond.


#11

sure it does. Enjoy irradiating your hands!


#12

PM’d*

*not really


#13

wait, she wanted shitey concentrate apple juice?

(you could have probably done a bit of concentrate banter by staring at the bottle etc)


#14

and done a shite


#15

good wordery there


#16

oscar wilde eat yr heart out


#17

Right I’m off to Rugoe with the full roast eater. Please enjoy yourself within the confines of this thread.


#18

Oooh saving this one! #barmanbants


#19

full roast in the back row
of the movies on a wednesday morn with you
we could stay forever, you and I
we could stay forever, you and I
eatin’ a full roast in the back row of the movies