Not sure if this is worth its own thread but this has been bugging me a lot lately…
A lot of my friends, but some in particular, do this thing which really annoys me.
I message them about something because it made me think of them. It might have been like 8 years since we last spoke, but who cares? It’s nice to get a message out of the blue from someone you haven’t spoken to for ages, even if the only result of it is a half hearted conversation and nothing for another 8 years.
However, there is a subgroup of my friends where every time I contact them, which is sporadic (modern life), they feel the need to apologise profusely for not being in touch more.
Now. This is an apology, this surelu comes from a good place, right? But that’s not how it feels. There’s a subsection of my friends who apologise so consistently when I do talk to them, it leaves me with the feeling that they think that since the last time we spoke, I spent every waking moment waiting for them to message again. Rather than want to communicate with them more, it leaves me feeling like they think my life revolves around them. Once or twice with this, particularly with context, is okay, but for some of my friends it’s 50% of our communication these days.
Is this something other people experience? Part of me wonders if I’m giving off vibes where I give a fuck about this shit, and these messages make me paranoid about it. Honestly, I couldn’t be worse at keeping in touch with people, but when I do, the radio silence needs no explanation. Life got in the way, we’re adults, it’s ok and it’s far more interesting to launch into something like the chat never stopped than to spend your little catch up time placating excuses for not catching up.
Here are some polls to see if this is a common thing, or vibes I give off (please answer honestly, I’d really like to know and address it if the problem is me)
- You spend a lot of time explaining and apologising for why it’s been so long
- You pick up where you left off
- It depends who the person is, but less of the apology bit
- It depends who the person is, but more of the apology bit
- Good at keeping in touch with people
- Shit at keeping it touch with people
- Somewhere in between