Hello. I’ve struggled with this for most of my adult life. Quite publicly.
It has taken me years and years of soul searching to find some peace on this issue. But found it I have.
I’m no guru and I can only offer you words of advice based on my own experiences. I’m not lecturing, in fact I’m talking to myself more than anything.
But long story short it’s all a head game. Life is a head game. Happiness is perspective. Gratitude is the key to happiness.
There’s men in prison right now happier than men in mansions. It’s how you frame your situation.
The first thing I did was be grateful. It’s a miracle how appreciating the job security and the opportunity to learn cjanges your mood.
The second thing was I stopped making excuses. I wasn’t unlucky for not being signed in a band. I wasn’t unlucky for not having a writing job. I wasn’t unlucky for having a standard office career. It was a choice I made. Fuck all the excuses. The moment you realise you’re choosing your job, you’re choosing to go in there every day is the moment it stops happening TO YOU.
The third thing is I started making goals. This is powerful shit as it changes your perspective. I wrote them down. I had some not about work but I made some exactly about work. Things like to change jobs, to stop commuting, to get a pay rise, to move from x industry to y industry. Whatever. The point is that suddenly, when you have a plan, it doesn’t seem like the futile mouse wheel, there’s a purpose to your work. It’s a stepping stone as you plan your baby steps to something greater. I began to genuinely enjoy work as it felt like I was working for me, to get me somewhere else. I was using them as much as they were using me.
Also, there were small things. Seeing certain things as a game. Tough moments I viewed like a gym workout. A shitter meeting, a stay late pressure, it was a squat session, a bench press, I was working out my mind. It began feeling like working was benefiting me rather than destroying me.
Man, I’ve been there. And to a degree I’m still there. But the kingdom of god is within you. You’re the key to happiness and peace, not a job in music, or a big house or working part time.
The Buddha says life is suffering. The struggle is real. But no path is easy. The moment we think someone else has got it easy is the moment we get bitter. No one has it easy. Some paths are harder than others but they are all hard.
That shitty pain you feel each day is growing pain. It’s making you resilient. It’s building you piece by piece through the struggle. Love it for it can be your saviour. Turn the poison into medicine. For all the gnashing of teeth I didn for years got me nowhere. So I chose again. And I accepted these are my choices. And the future is also my choice. And that is feeedom.
I’m with you bro. I hope you find some resolution as it’s inside all of us. Your mind is wired to see the negative, the danger, the doubt, the fear. Your mind is built for survival. Not for happiness. That’s your job. And it’s right there as a choice.
I hope this helps and doesn’t seem too pious x