I’m eating an apple

I’m eating an apple that must be about two weeks old and it still tastes amazing. What other old fresh stuff stays so good? I feel like this apple could have lasted for months.

You ever get one of those bottles of milk that just runs and runs and you end up putting it in tea one week after it was supposed to have gone off?

Ok I’ve got a theory. The harder the fruit the longer it lasts.

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Sorry to be talking about a slightly different subject but I always feel like a big spud should be able to last a couple of months easy but they start fucking up after a week or so!

Butternut squash has tremendous staying power.

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Ever seen a mouldy coconut? No you have not.

Theory checks out.


Edit: I think you’re wrong. you just need to cut away the tubers and it’s good to go.

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I hate potatoes for this reason. Never buy the pricks.

A spud (apple of the earth, thanks gcse French) lasts fucking ages. As does its sweeter cousin

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No it doesn’t you fucking prick!

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Jesus fucking Christ mate

yes - and I have also had bottles of milk that have gone off before it was supposed to

what a crazy world eh?

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You and Balonz really are a pair of dense cunts


Weird isn’t it

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who buys those huge bags of spuds? - they just don’t last that long

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Universal experience of buying a bag of bananas:

  • first two: not ripe, hard as anything, tastes awful
  • third: delightful, right texture, bursting with flavour
  • last two: bruised, awful tasting mush
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Twats like aggpass

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there should be a word for how one’s mouth feels after eating an under ripe banana - it could be everyone’s new favourite that we bust out to show off at dinner parties and gallery opening drinks


  • Day 1: don’t eat a banana
  • Day 2: same as day 1
  • Day 3: eat 6 bananas
  • Day 4: buy new bag of banana’s

man tapping the side of his head meme


I don’t buy bagged fruit and veg because I don’t hate the planet

Not dissimilar to how your mouth feels after eating too much spinach