I’m eating an apple

I hate potatoes for this reason. Never buy the pricks.

A spud (apple of the earth, thanks gcse French) lasts fucking ages. As does its sweeter cousin

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No it doesn’t you fucking prick!

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Jesus fucking Christ mate

yes - and I have also had bottles of milk that have gone off before it was supposed to

what a crazy world eh?

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You and Balonz really are a pair of dense cunts


Weird isn’t it

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who buys those huge bags of spuds? - they just don’t last that long

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Universal experience of buying a bag of bananas:

  • first two: not ripe, hard as anything, tastes awful
  • third: delightful, right texture, bursting with flavour
  • last two: bruised, awful tasting mush
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Twats like aggpass

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there should be a word for how one’s mouth feels after eating an under ripe banana - it could be everyone’s new favourite that we bust out to show off at dinner parties and gallery opening drinks


  • Day 1: don’t eat a banana
  • Day 2: same as day 1
  • Day 3: eat 6 bananas
  • Day 4: buy new bag of banana’s

man tapping the side of his head meme


I don’t buy bagged fruit and veg because I don’t hate the planet

Not dissimilar to how your mouth feels after eating too much spinach

Man gets veg box one week, next week has a new high and mighty attitude.

Sickening stuff.

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I go to Mr sharp’s for fruit and veg otherwise. And I always bring my own bag

very true

There’s pine mouth but that is different.

Mr Sharp thinks you’re a prick

He actually thinks I’m a very polite young man