I propose a new law



That actors can only act using their own accent. You want someone from North Yorkshire, you get someone from North Yorkshire. You went someone from the deep south, you get someone from the deep south.

This was inspired by the numerous dog doo American accents in the latest series of Black Mirror and Locke and all those Americans putting on weak English accents. (also that bit of exposition from Kelly Mac in the last episode ‘so those metal bees that are everywhere I have never questioned their existence before, tell me about them’).

Yeah some people can do accents but fuck em for the greater good. It’s quite racist/regionalist doing accents anyway.

You are all with me? Excellent. Let’s get this done.


i support this and i think it probably is one of the ‘big issues’ that we face today


Knew you’d have my back.


What about people who’ve got accents that makes it sound like they could be from anywhere? Are they in every film or no film?


Yeah, they have to appear in every film.


What if every actor from North Yorkshire doesn’t want to be in “Ba Ba Balonz - The Musical” or whatever it is you’re making? Does that region just not exist anymore?


Either a rewrite or the film gets binned off


Dick Van Dyke!

Proposal rejected.


I think actors should only do one role ever. That way you avoid someone like De Niro being De Niro in every film rather than the character.

Choose wisely.


What about period pieces where we’re not sure how people talked back then.

Just fuck them off?

Or reanimate corpses?


He’s dead* so it doesn’t affect him.

*well not quite yet


I don’t know, there’s great joy to be had in actors doing terrible accents (as long as it’s condensed into a short Youtube video, and you don’t have to watch the whole film)…


Would you accept it if we used an actor from the South playing the part of someone from North Yorkshire, and then we dubbed their voice over with a North Yorkshire accent? Sort of like the opposite of the whole Darth Vader thing.


I’d be fucking delighted.


Fuck them off


What about alien languages like in Star Wars?


We’ll need to widen our search of the galaxy for new acting talent.


Well, I’ve had my doubts about this but you’ve soundly squashed my fears. A grand and noble idea.

I’ll set up the e-petition and we’ll crack this off to parliament.


He’s in the new Mary Poppins, due next year.


If this means more roles for the guy who plays Marlon Dingle, I’m all for it