I think I have beaten the spammy phone call


So somehow some company got hold of my phone number and name and decided to phone me 8-10 times a day for the last week.

I ignored most calls but the other day I answered one and some guy was telling me how I could earn 10 000 quid a day by investing in some stocks shite

I said I wasn’t interested but he persisted - I ended up speaking to him for half an hour on the philosophy of life and how i valued other things in my life more than money and made it very clear at no stage would I be handing over my account details but yeh he kept going so I hung up

Then I got another load of calls.

Anyway - I answered it again yesterday and got a different person but i pretended to be a child and asked them if I should get my mum… they asked me how old I was and I said 14.

I think they have gone.

Have I won or will they just start houding me again tomorrow


If you don’t want the £10k a day, I’ll have it.


If they do call back I will happily pass on your details


Brilliant, thanks.

My account number and sort code are


Don’t you earn about 10k a day anyway?


Wouldn’t get out of bed for that, m8


British Gas meter man came round last week, I answered the door and he asked if my mum or dad was in.

I’m 34.



Weirdly caused me to flashback to that terrible ‘fuckerarda’ long joke that was popular in school.


You should have phoned them there and then to check if they were in.


Have you tried blocking their number?


Looking online they are based in South Africa

But the number that comes up is london (different number everytime), Birmingham, abroad somewhere

Was very annoying


Tell them you’re with the telephone preference service next time


no, you’re twentynine


ha yeh that will stop them…they asked me where I worked and I said Trading Standards “oh good, do you have a nice time working there?”


Try smashing your phone with a hammer?


I’ll smash you with a hammer in a minute

(I won’t)


So what are all your telephone techniques for spam calls?

My nan gets most, err, tactless if she can’t understand their accent, while my mum genuinely appears happy just to chat for ages and waste their time.

Dad hangs up as soon as they launch into “how are you today sir” after he says hello, heh.

I stick 'em on speakerphone, mute my end, then just carry on doing whatever I was doing until they fuck off.


Turn on the radio to radio 2 or something with a dj talking, then sit the phone next to the speaker and walk away.


And were they?


I double clicked ‘fuckerada’ to right-click and Google search (dunno the joke). I’ve sent it to print across the office by mistake :laughing: