Ideas you have that might just Save the Economy

If this happens I’m going straight down my local arcade and throwing all my £1 coins into the 2p change machine.


Stop pumping money into nuclear submarines and start pumping some money into small business and community schemes.


Also vending machines now stock all of the stuff that’s currently in proper shops but you have to nip to the shop to get a hot chocolate in a plastic cup of you want one

Don’t be ridiculous

sounds really boring to me

we could empty all the 2p machines from the arcades

must be £Billions lying about in those things


Stop pumping money into nuclear submarines, take all the money to vegas and win big at roulette.


Also, contactless cheques?

Make chocolate coins legal tender


Money is called tender but it’s often quite rough.

BAD idea, global warming would make them all melt and crash the economy. People would have to store all their wealth in Norway and do we really want to make those guys richer?

Close the borders for all British citizens. No one is allowed to leave and must spend all their holiday money in Britain. Foreigners are still allowed to come and go as they please, obviously.


I haven’t thought this through but have maximum and minimum prices for everything. So the minimum a chocolate bar could cost would be say 20p per 100g the maximum would be £4 per 100g.

I floated this idea to 'er indoors last night: Tesco jam doughnuts are 5 for 65p. That’s 13p a doughnut. There is literally no other object or experience on the planet that can compare to that price to enjoyment ratio. That is simply a fact.

My proposition is therefore simple: we replace the pound with the Tesco jam doughnut as our currency. Or use it as the basis of some other, less perishable currency. I don’t know the details, I’m not an economist. By the irrefutable facts presented above, we would trade favourably against every other currency because you cannot compete with a 13p jam doughnut.

She called me a fucking idiot.


Very much diminishing returns though. I would say by the third donut, enjoyment to price ratio has buckled dramatically. That is if you’re wolfing them down in one go, rather than sharing them

Sharing your hard earned doughnut currency? COMMUNIST!

Literally everything about this post is factually incorrect.


I’d need to get a bigger wallet. Boom for the wallet industry, too.

Like the Venezuelan bolívar, amirite?!

Never had one. Is it dairy free?