If a gameshow host asked you what you'd do with the prize money...

…and you said you’d use it to acquire nuclear weapons from a shadowy black market arms dealer, could the host step in to try to actively foil you? Or are they like priests when you tell them in confession that you done a murder, and the most they can do is go “ooh, I dont think God would be too chuffed about that, maybe you should turn yourself in to the police”

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‘Donating it all to the Ruffers Big Pints & Pizza Fund, Bradley. It’s a good cause, very close to my heart.’

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Chris Tarrant is a grass, if I’ve ever seen one

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“I’m going to put the money towards getting my head amputated”

‘none of your fucking business, that’s what Paddy’

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always hated that question.

i’d be like ‘i don’t fucking know, probably get a takeaway in tonight and some beers and then see what happens’

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Xander would nod and smile with the sinister air of his true tory self.
Richard would make a funny quip but be too scared to act.

It literally always boils down to new kitchen/car/ holiday anyway

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the absolute malcolms who say ‘i’m going to pay off my student loan’

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imagine winning 10 grand and immediately paying off the student loans company?

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Always a bit curious about the ‘baby on the way’ answer too, like if you’re not getting the jackpot is adoption plan B?

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Martin Lewis wouldn’t even agree with doing that.

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Not as bad as “I’m going to try to bribe some love or respect from my grandchildren”

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Love the idea of some international supervillian having to go on Pointless to raise a bit of dosh

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But then lose and go home with one of those perspex trophies

  • powerboat
  • washer dryer
  • package holiday
  • crappy car

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Speedboat and a tankard.

‘Hiring the staff and equipment to film my own indie rom-com masterpiece’

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“Some lovely drugs.”

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