If a tribe of alien space lizards took over your body

Looking and sounding exactly like you, but mimicking all of the day to day actions and behaviours of a human being learnt from their book on “How to mimic human behaviours” what would be the main thing your partner/lover/person you live with/person you stood next to once would notice that you no longer did and would give the game away that you had been possessed by an alien space lizard?

Mine would probably be leaving the hoover* out for a considerable amount of time, sometimes days, after doing the hoovering.


*Yes, hoover.

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I imagine they’d notice that I was doing a much better job of pretending to be a human being than usual almost instantly.


Wouldn’t mind too much if alien space lizards took over my body. It’d be nice for someone else to have to deal with the back pain for a bit.

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Random farting.

Enthusiastically making small talk about my day at work.

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If it made eye contact


I think my mum would have a better relationship with the lizard


but if we post it in this thread then they’ll just add it to the algorithm

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If it went by the slim majority consensus and said blue is the best weezer album

Hey, isn’t it wigs fallen off that profk always says?

Think my family would immediately know something was wrong, and then proceed to enjoy it and do absolutely nothing about it.

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I didn’t mean any trouble, I’m sorry xylo. It just seems that you’re a bit cooler and more affable at the moment and it’s bringing on hot flushes.

It would probably fail to eat batteries like I do

:crystal_ball: Ask again later


Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display hlep.

This is the plot of the Philip K Dick short story ‘Human Is’, where a woman realises her husband is actually possessed by an alien when he starts talking to her and taking an interest in her. She decides she prefers the alien and refuses to grass him up. Quite sweet but also a devestating critique of how shit men are.

And basically how people would work me out, tbq humble.


Think that was GK Chesterton, m8.

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