If everyone other than you disappeared off the face of the earth

i’d take it as a nudge to go vegan

STOP TRYING TO FIND LOOPHOLES

THERE IS ONLY ‘WILD’ FOOD. ALL SHOP SHIT IS GONE!

EAT LOOPHOLE

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Pheasants definitely. There are loads around here and they appear to have no sense of self-preservation. After that, woodpigeons. I would be leaving geese and swans until basically last, the terrifying bastards

Probably pick some apples

Actually I’d love to have a go on a proper little fishing boat with a net, lobster pots, stuff like that. I’d be in my rick stein element for about half an hour before I got fed up and really really cold.

You see it would nudge me the other way. Happy to massacre ducks as the last man on earth.

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How do you know for sure that you’re the last person on earth?

Yeah, there would be foxes and badgers and shit.

I guess an initial trip up the motorways could see you stock your freezer (assuming the grid is still on) with shit loads of road kill.

God would tell you.

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EAT GOD

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EAT STICKBOY

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Yeah it is being run by ghosts that can briefly manifest i physical form to flip switches and shit.

There’s loads of geese, ducks and swans over at the lake about 20 minutes walk from work. I love those guys but if it came down to it I’d be headed straight over there with a baseball bat and smashing me some dinner.

That’s the spirit!

Could probably get them to do the switches on the Findus crispy pancakes machines too then. Crisis averted. Huzzah!

Yeah but they are guarded by packs of wolves.

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Dominos 2 for tuesday

Not comfortable with this spelling of doofus…

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Dufus!