If I had written “Ironic” instead of Alanis

Morrisette I definitely would’ve used the line;

“It’s like being gifted a 1kg bag of Epsom bath salts but not having a bath in which to put said Epsom bath salts”

That’s just me though :eyes:


It’s like ba-ath salts, when all you have is a sink! It’s i-ice skates but you don’t have a rink!


It’s a paper strawaahhwww, when you don’t have a drink!


Tbf I don’t think many people have their own ice rink.

Maybe you could say; “it’s ice skates, but you don’t have access to a rink in which to skate with said ice skates”

It’s like being gifted a 1kg bag of Epsom bath salts but I actually live in Leatherhead and consider Epsom as something of a rival town so would rather not use their salts. Also I only have a shower.


Would have been cool if you had, though. People would make memes about things that are vaguely ironic and then post a little pic of you singing along in the car to your own song. Or quote-text things and write “alright, Jordan numbers” underneath.

Also you’d be minted with royalties and probably too busy for DiS.

Hey, this ain’t bad!


“It’s like winning the meat raffle at a local pub, the day after turning vegan”

This thing writes itself!

Is this a common thing in the UK? I first encountered it in Australia, where I found it in multiple places and thought it was an Australian thing as I’d never heard of the concept before.

  • I have encountered meat raffles in pubs in the UK
  • I have not encountered meat raffles in pubs in the UK, but I have elsewhere
  • I have not encountered meat raffles in pubs anywhere

0 voters

Mostly in working men’s clubs and old-fashioned boozers, but definitely still a thing.

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I think maybe it’s more common in Australia maybe, it’s known enough that I saw multiple standups to reference it safe in the knowledge that everyone knew what it was, but I imagine that wouldn’t be the case in the UK.

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Bless you!

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Went past a pub with a Meat Raffle sign this week in Bristol

can’t get my head around meat raffles, who gets excited about meat as a prize?!

People who like meat

I like bread but I wouldn’t want a bread raffle

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Also, you’d have to leave immediately after winning to refrigerate it too

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at the band club they used to go for it in a big way, all the olds loved it

Would love to win some meat.

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I think it’s because it’s just a basic item you can buy in a shop and also you have to prepare it that it doesn’t seem like a fun prize to me. Chocolate I can get because you could just open it up at the table and have a few. I guess you could eat a chicken leg Henry VIII style