If i were to stage a daring robbery of your workplace TODAY


#1

Mainly aiming for cash, or valuables i could easily sell on without trouble, would there be much money in it for me?


#2

God no.


#3

Nope.


#4

Given there was an actual armed robbery some years ago, yes.


#5

did they steal all the patents?


#6

All of them. Just running down the street with armfuls of intangible property rights.


#7

£40, a big drum of chlorine and a kettle.


#8

Dunno about without trouble, but there’s a fuck ton of expensive paper in the warehouse. Printers are worth a shedload too, but you’d need a pretty big van.


#9

is this suddenly the riddle thread?


#10

how big, roughly? also, address?


#11

the raven says hello


#12

One place I worked had a break-in and they tried to steal some of the IT equipment. They gave up after getting one desktop tower halfway out of the window and failing at their attempt to get the photocopier down the stairs.


#13

Why it’s just up… waaait a minute.

I’d say about the size of the warehouse.


#14

:smiley: fuck. no one realises how heavy those fucking things are. and super clunky to move as well.


#15

You could get all of the computers, and the microwave* and coffee machine.

You may actually have picked a good day - the woman’s toilets on the top floor is closed as people are working on a burst pipe. You could probably gain access fairly easily, and if films have taught me anything (and I believe they HAVE), it’s that there’s a vent in every toilet that gives access to important areas of the building.

*as established in a previous thread, our work microwave is a 1200W behemoth.


#16

Not much cash, but plenty of computers and that.

Probably best to just grab people’s bags.

Not mine though, you thieving cunt!


#17

Hey @xylo how much do you think I can sell my limited to 850 copies, secrets of my kingdom Mortiis book? And where’s best to sell it?
I imagine you get aksed this all the time.


#18

something like that you want to head to www.abebooks.co.uk


#19

Plenty of booze tbh. I’m day off, so go mad.


#20

It was an opportunist break-in because the building had scaffolding up outside it. I don’t think they really thought things through.