If I won the lottery the first thing I'd do is

march straight into Tesco and get one of those ‘Finest’ sandwiches that aren’t in the meal deal. Like that smoked salmon and cream cheese one or something about ‘ham hock’.


Immediately being changed by the money. Good stuff, lad

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Give it back because gambling is haram :heart: and cry because gambling is haram

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Crying is also haram

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Yeah the ham hock one was decent

But also actually haram

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Think I’d probably go to an ice cream place and get 3 scoops?

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I’d assume that the risk of death had suddenly become much increased, and would be too scared to cross a road, or leave the flat, or use electrical goods, and would probably be dead within a few days.


didn’t realize we had a lottery winner on the boards


I’d get a bar of that Tony’s chocolate

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Or you could get your own and stop picking on poor Tony.

Invest it all in crypto

I’d take my car to one of those car washes where they clean the inside as well with a vacuum cleaner. The kind of assembly line one where 15 different people get involved in the clean and each one has their own specific job to do.

I’d probably misread the email and think I’d won £25 again and forget about it.


Was typing this out but knew what it’d be when I saw you’d replied.

I’m now your biggest hater. Btw

You don’t realise the value of the grind, clearly

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How much did I win?

Buy all the girls on my block silver plated six shooters with a quart of the finest highland scotch, obviously.

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I’d probably just go round giving people money, or recreate a classic rap video.