If Japes was getting married at the weekend and we were all invited (pretty sure we would be) what would you buy him?

#1

PCBE

#2

Custom (initialled) his ā€˜nā€™ hers shitting vest or Oxford shirt

#3

Tickets for him and his wife (or husbandā€¦ Iā€™m not judging!) to see The Wedding Present at Aldershot West End Centre next month.

#4

Mushroom log

#5

Heā€™s going not going to be happy about that!

I wonder if @ttf is going

#6

heā€™s not rsvpā€™d

#7

Heā€™s going to be able to build a cabin with the number of logs heā€™ll be getting.

#8

A new bin!

Ā£50 - standard.

#9

Electric wall-mounted can opener

#10

Four slice toaster with one of those bagel rack bits

#11

I got a bin for my wedding.

#12

Book token

#13

Communal?

#14

I do allow all the family to use it.

#15

Probably wouldnā€™t show up. Nothing personal, chief.

#16

his and hers casquettes

#17

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#18

A tandem.

#19

Classic punch up at a Scottish wedding.

#20

We were watching ā€œDonā€™t Tell The Brideā€ yesterday. Bloke proposed kneeling next to his kitchen bin. Then he arranged for them to get married in a maze, where the bride had to walk through, passing milestones of their relationship, one of which was a bin (which contained a Mr Bean impersonator).

He also made her do paintballing on her hen do.

I have not made any of this up.