If Japes was getting married at the weekend and we were all invited (pretty sure we would be) what would you buy him?

PCBE

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Custom (initialled) his ‘n’ hers shitting vest or Oxford shirt

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Tickets for him and his wife (or husband… I’m not judging!) to see The Wedding Present at Aldershot West End Centre next month.

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He’s going not going to be happy about that!

I wonder if @ttf is going

he’s not rsvp’d

He’s going to be able to build a cabin with the number of logs he’ll be getting.

A new bin!

£50 - standard.

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Electric wall-mounted can opener

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Four slice toaster with one of those bagel rack bits

I got a bin for my wedding.

Book token

Communal?

I do allow all the family to use it.

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Probably wouldn’t show up. Nothing personal, chief.

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his and hers casquettes

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A tandem.

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Classic punch up at a Scottish wedding.

We were watching “Don’t Tell The Bride” yesterday. Bloke proposed kneeling next to his kitchen bin. Then he arranged for them to get married in a maze, where the bride had to walk through, passing milestones of their relationship, one of which was a bin (which contained a Mr Bean impersonator).

He also made her do paintballing on her hen do.

I have not made any of this up.

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Could you please tell me who is on my table?

(this totally works)