If you had to job share with one of the undead

I might need someone to clarify what goblins and stuff count as you’re all clearly so fucking precious about it!

He’ll be trying for a hippogryph next!

What a fucking chancer.

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I can’t decide if this is cute or rank :confused: It’s very confusing.

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I’ve vomitted all over my desk but I’m also smiling.

It is confusing, isn’t it?

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I would send a ringwraith to collect on my invoices when they’re overdue.

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This would probably speed things up.

at the bottom of the invoice you could put “to arrange payment just ring wraith on: 0141 …”

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Actually I’d quite like to work with the Chosen Undead from Dark Souls. Never says anything, persists at a task even when it kills him a million times over, has a nifty flaming claymore he might let me play with. He’d probably be shit at Excel but if anyone starts towards my desk with some stupid query the guy in a full suit of armour throwing fire about the place might make them think twice.

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Nicely thought through. This is the perfect riposte to anyone who thought the initial premise a ridiculous one.

You’re CRAZY mate. You’d have to save against it’s touch all the time or get paralysed.

Nah, it’s a zombie for me. They’re so slow I’d look like the best even when I wasn’t even trying.

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*cut to 6 months later*
zombie is now theo’s line manager

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As if I won’t be wearing full grieves and gauntlets for the handover.

What kind of amateur do you take me for?

It’s my colleagues that need to watch out, I’ll only see the ghoul for five to ten minutes max, they’re working with it for two and a half days.

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You realise you’re picking up the work they’re not doing when you take over from them, right?

Think you’re smart for picking a slowcoach now?

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college vampires from buffy season 4

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Ghost Rider surely? although I’m not sure if he’d actually be able to work with computers given the whole, constantly being on fire thing tho’ :thinking:

Perhaps you could put in a firewall

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

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That’s IT’s problem.

Quite enjoy the idea of them having to put in a flame retardant keyboard and monitor cover.

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I’d probably go for a couple of Frankensteins. I’d micromanage them outregeously so I finally know what it feels like to be God