If you HAD TO turn your (hypothetical) partner into one other animal what would it be?



they’d keep their own personality, voice and life expectancy but may develop some animal tics (and ticks Lol.)


Do you have to do it or can I just not bother?


I guess whatever the sexiest of the great apes is?




Yeah, that’ll do.


dog, it’s what she’d want I think


Golden eagle. Imagine the practical benefits of being married to an eagle!


an amur leopard. they need all the help they can get


Two toed Sloth.

I’d hardly notice the difference.


Pigeonless garden


I’m afraid I can only imagine the impractical benefits.


They’re good too though, right?


I’m imagining a lot of flesh removed from my back and arms, maybe the loss of an eye. Don’t get me started on the amount of bird plop that’d need clearing up. But then that pigeonless garden is well worth the struggle.


The beast from Beauty and the Beast.


Nah, keeps her personality, so flesh removal likely to be at a minimum. Also, no reason why an eagle couldn’t shit in a toilet.


if you don’t bother then all the good options will be taken, good luck explaining to your girlfriend that she’s now a scummy plankton


Quite low maintenance though yer plankton, think I could get on board with that.




Don’t hang out with anyone who has turned their partner into a whale.


Ok, dog in that case please