If you were a bird, which bird things would you do and which ones would you not?

Get a bit bored at a social event, go to the toilet, then fly out through the window without telling anyone you’re leaving
  • Yeah, I’d be doing this
  • Nah, not me
0 voters
1 Like

High quality thread

14 Likes
Fuck off somewhere hot every winter
  • Yeah, I’d be doing this
  • Nah, not me
0 voters

Best thing on the internet this week, just checked. Possibly ToTY.

2 Likes
Find flying easy
  • Yeah, I’d be gliding along like it’s the easiest thing in the world
  • I’d be like a pinball in a pinball machine
0 voters
Getting up well early for a bit of a sing
  • Yeah, I’d be doing that
  • Nah, not me
0 voters
Hop about a bit on both feet when travelling on the ground
  • Yeah, I’d be doing this
  • Nah, not me
0 voters
Murmurating with my flock
  • Yeah, I’d be doing that
  • Nah, not me
0 voters
1 Like
Catching the worm
  • Yeah, I’d be doing this
  • Nah, not me
0 voters
Using my cloaca for digestive, reproductive and urinary functions
  • Yeah, I’d be doing this
  • No, not me
0 voters

Holding vendettas and divebombing cats, dogs and their humans for an ancient grievance (murderered member of my flock)

  • Caw caw! Yes
  • Not for me
0 voters

Sitting on headstones ominously (corvid option)

  • Never(more)
  • Caw caw (yes)
0 voters

Getting started on the birdsong in the middle of the night every once in a while to toy with the humans (not an owl option)

  • Tweet tweet it’s 1am
  • Not for me
0 voters

Flying into windows dramatically

  • Birdstrike! (Yes)
  • Not for me
0 voters

Learn how to speak human words, mostly swears, for their amusement

  • bawwk, gimme a cracker
  • Do I look like a caique? (also known as a clown bird)
0 voters

carrying the souls of the dead from this world into the next

  • yeah, i would do that
  • no, i don’t think i would
0 voters
1 Like

Also: waving my feet around to verify their colour, with the added bonus of being called a booby.

1 Like

Rotating my head in a full 360 (owl option)

  • If we turn, turn, turn, turn, then we might learn
  • Nah mate
0 voters

Making the worst sound in the world whilst generally menacing every other form of birdlife out there (magpie option)

  • ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK
  • Not for me
0 voters

Hover menacingly in the air

  • That’s the life for me
  • I’d prefer to flit about
0 voters
1 Like