If your body recorded stats

And measured pretty much everything you did, stuff like number of different words used, gallons of piss deposited, chickens consumed, yawns done etc. what would you like to know? Let’s say top 3 things you’d be curious about

Amount of money ive spent on alcohol in my life.

• total duration airborne
• average duration of dialogue (weekly)
• number of poos (monthly)

1 Like

Was convinced this was gonna be another Squirtle thread tbh with you.

  • most number of farts in a day
  • highest velocity fart ever recorded
  • longest continuous fart



Vomit frequency (average)

Sleep Debt Accrued

Maybe 800 Hz?

How about the ones you absolutely wouldn’t want to know?
Total amount of time sat awake but completely still


I reckon average ejaculate volume might be surprisingly humbling.

Imagine my amount of pisses per day (PPD) would be quite shocking

1 Like

Total volume of custard consumed would be pretty bad.

Infinite wishes


What my actual RDA of all the food types, vitamins etc was, and whether I was meeting them.

Yeah this is obviously much better than e.g. maximum fart volume achieved.

Ffs marckee.


Oh man I really wouldn’t wanna know that. I worry about it enough as it is

1 Like

Laying down but not asleep

1 Like

Total mass of bogeys evacuated from nose would be good.


smelliness score out of 10

Really good!