Ikea thread

It’s a strange place and it has an unusual effect on me: I find myself getting home with items I have bought without really intending to. Candles, crockery, lamps. It also seems to exert a sort of ‘Pavlov’s dogs’ reaction that makes customers crave a hotdog when they have paid for their goods.

I slabber a bit too when I’m in Ikea

For me, it’s getting a plate full of their meatballs & gravy BEFORE going round the place…

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Fucking loathe the place.

Gonna need to nip there in a fortnight’s time. Already eagerly anticipating the minor rows over inconsequential bullshit, the completely unnecessary solicitation of an opinion over things I can’t possibly have one about and most of all, the hit to the ol’ wallet as a result!

Moved house recently, bought a load of Ikea storage stuff. Every fucking night for over a week I’ve been putting stuff together. Got 4 doors and 2 big Malm drawers left to do. Might get 'em done tonight. Reckon I could build a Pax wardrobe blindfolded in less than 10 minutes.

the fecal matter food used to be really, really cheap. Now just cheap.
I can’t wait to drag a 2 year old child round there. Though they do have a creche service in most/all of them, though only a psychopath would leave their kids in a store’s creche


Almost impossible to ‘nip’ to Ikea.


Really, really like IKEA on a quiet evening. Hell on earth on a Sunday, obvs.

Favourite things:

  • cheap loo brushes
  • pot plants
  • water glasses
  • meatballs
  • Marabou!
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Always been tempted by the pot plants but never bought one. What is the quality like?

Not too bad - surprisingly given they’re kept in a warehouse with no natural light. We’ve had a couple thrive.

Don’t say that

Please continue to say that

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It’s fine. Look up what you want before you go and skip the showroom. Pick up a bag of mini daims on your way out. Sorted.



Got an ikea beer with my meatballs last time
I want more shop branded beers

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Pretty good actually - I’ve got some that are 8 years old and going strong.

it’s too far away for me to ever want to go there in person again - managed to order and have delivered a kitchens worth of stuff last year without actually going to one which is good. Also have ordered a few bits recently (including 3x mattresses for the kids) which were delivered cheaply by Parcelforce


I tried to order a new Kalax(?) thing for putting vinyl in - and they wanted to charge me £35 postage on an item that costs £35

fuck that - so I’ve ordered something nicer but much more expensive instead, Not sure who’s the winner here really

Would totally buzz through a whole bag of these right now

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So calming in there. I love looking around the rooms they construct to showcase how you can decorate and imagining living in them.