I'm going to listen to the new Kaiser Chiefs album and give you a track by track review

Wish me luck peeps. Probably start at around 8pm.


Someone had to do it. Good luck.

Sorry can’t do it today. Will have to do this tomorrow.

Looking forward to it

Okay doing this now

does the roof come down shingle by shingle as it plays or is it an all-at-once deal?

We Stay Together: Starts with a vocal which starts a bit damon albarn then goes into a very limp falsetto. Okay now the radio 1 dance beat has started. This is no ‘I predict a riot’ so commercial sounding. Very keyboard oriented. Very clean production slightly funky.

Hole In My Soul: Okay this was a bad idea… honestly a stoke drum beat. Still these bright synths, a bunch of ‘inspiring’ violins… and now the drop guys! This isnt the Kaiser Chiefs I grew up. This is poor radio club music. Lyrics are a bunch of empty ‘heart warming’ platitudes. I didnt think the Kaiser Chiefs could ‘sell out’ but this is what it is:

Two at a time. Gives me some time to right things down.


Parachute: Starts with an auto tuned vocal, a legal requirement for being a judge at the voice. Honestly I dont want to be a snide bastard but this is painful. Not funny bad just unimaginably boring bad. The middle 8 shows off Rickys monotone vocals. My respect for Coldplay has advanced 10 fold they actually craft songs that are interesting and with depth compared to this. Pure galaxy radio stuff.Worst yet (somehow)

Good Clean Fun Starts with some of beat guitars. The closest to old Kaiser Chiefs ive heard. Still trudges on at a middling pace. A better vocalist could make this an acceptable track. I keep on getting reminded of other tracks that I cant put my finger on. Lets say nothing sounds particularly original and the lyrics are all so erm predictable. Why is this 5 minutes long? Absolutely no reason. Not sure about the chorus either: “Why you so sad? Sex makes everything better, better”

So after a brief respite with Spotify ads im back to the music.

Why Do You Do It To Me: Bit of guitar work his voice isnt very good is it? Another middle pacer. Honestly im struggling to say anything. Its just boring. Occasionally there is some wired vocal production thing. I guess thats nice. Apart from that the song is bereft of ideas and excruciatingly long. I think its supposed to be an intense angry song about a dysfunctional relationship or something. He seems quite upset anyway. But it just seems like filler to be placed around some of the ‘banging’ over produced singles.

So does it translate live? Erm no?

Indoor Firework Starts with that whole Television off beat guitars thing. Although Television should never be compared to the Kaiser Chiefs. Best song so far. He does that wobbly thing with his voice. Showing some sort vocal range tbf. This is a slow burner about a break up with an emotional middle 8 that goes back to the plodding along tune with one guitar gambit and the lines that are meant to grip you: “Hold me now, indoor firework. Cold as hell, indoor firework”. My dad would like this one.

Press Rewind: Okay this is interesting. Big 80s sounding keyboard with some clips saying ‘Pop music, this is pop music’ you dont say… it is. But not that amazing inclusive catchy kind but the sort that is put on the radio because its not offensive and you can hum along to it in the car.

Anyway the song is by far the best. Lovely keyboards and jazzy guitars. The sort faux soul vocals are a bit weak though. Its not on youtube because the A&R men dont know how music works but I have little wrong with this track. Sure its not amazing and goes on for way to long at 5 minutes. A lot of these tracks would be more palatable at the 3 minute mark. Why do people insist on stretching out such songs? Surely its better to get people to want to listen to it again that have them bored,

Happen In A Heartbeat: Another radio track really. With beats designed by focus groups and all that shit. Again he is showing off a very different vocal style then you expect from someone called Ricky from Leeds.

High Society: Promising start love the echo sound they have on the guitar and a very decent grove. Pretty stripped back on the wall of sound compared to much of this album. Okay this is a pretty strange falsetto(ish) vocal. It at least has a decent groove/bass to it. Again sounds very stolen from some 80s song. I think they have some vocal samples hidden in the mix but im not sure. Again its a middling tempo song. Mix it up a bit! One of the better tracks. I dont think this is a reference to drugs unfortunately. Its lyrics are about buying shit. Im not sure how ironic the vocals are. Whether it is praising or criticising consumer culture.

So here is the Kaiser Cheifs in 2016 at thier very best.

Sunday Morning: Again this is a bit better. They have this off beat thing going on again and organ keyboard. Lyrics seem to be about being ambitious but still having a lazy sunday not wanting to do anything. This sounds more like the Kaiser Chiefs and wont be making the radio 1 playlists.

Still Waiting: Another vocal style Ricky! Bit of a baritone. Bit of Beautiful Day and Justice going on here. Basically radio rock. Not that bad not all that. This is 8 minutes long…there better be a hidden track! The chores is catchy enough. If you are into this sort of stuff/production I could imagine liking it. Stops just before the 5 minute mark. Come on you Chiefs. Surprise me!

Hidden track! Woo I can pretend that we are in the 90s and that the MP3 players and PCs have left this gimmick completely redundant. I mean I know how long your track is, and know that the song isnt fucking over. Its not hidden just made more tedious to find and listen to. Anyway this soulful number with this heavy jazzy electronic sound and erm a week falsetto ffs. Its the most interesting/unconventional thing on here. Not that thats saying much.

Thanks for sticking with me. Im never getting those 51 minutes back.

Christ, that Hole in My Soul! I know Kaiser Chiefs have always been a bit shit but at least they had their own sound really and were a little bit different but that song could literally be anyone. Awful

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That was an excruciating experience. Really bad and not funny bad either. Was a terrible idea just dont bother with me is my advice. Even if you like the sound they are trying to create this is hardly the best example of that style. It alos just seems to be a far too self serious album. No “WUUUUUUUOOOOOOORRRRRRGGĢGHHHs” about.

They used to be a silly band. Not very good but as a teen I liked them. Because they were energetic and didnt take themselves seriously in the slightest. The fun has gone so now they are just a not very talented band trying to shift records. Its just bad. Its a reinvention tailored to an already well fed market. Its utterly lacking in creativity and to be honest I think The Voice and all that stuff might have had an effect. Many of the tracks have a singer, never praised for his range, trying a number of vocal styles with varying results.

It was boring and a pointless record which at its best showed a flicker of an idea and at its worst was complete radio crap, and not even good radio crap at that. Most of the songs are underdeveloped and over long, filler to put it mildly, the rest are overproduced singles that Rickys A&R mates could shift along. Maybe The Enemy was right!

It not me. Although I dont mind if you do the latter either,

Considering their last album made it to No. 1 not even like they needed to make this desperate gambit. They were never going to be as big as they were ten years ago but they were still faring better than similar bands from that period.

Didn;t Franz Ferdinand try working with Brian Higgins but it didn’t work out or something. Probably just as well really.

You’re mixing up your Kaiser Chiefs with your Kasabians

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