Imagine if Jesus came back (again) later this year and the first thing he said was

“What’s up guys. It’s been a minute! First things first, smash that like button and if you haven’t subscribed, please give that a hit too”

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what if god was one of us
just a slob like one of us

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Maybe he already did

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“Sorry for the mess. Okay, who’s up for some judgement?”

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“Don’t forget to hit that alarm button to turn on notifications, or you’ll be damned for eternityyyyhahaha just kidding!”

I’ve heard his Dad’s run his own blog for ages beforehand, and it is filled with some ANGRY shit.

I heard Jesus took cocaine on a night out

Jesus loves marijuana
And drinking human bloooood!

Youth pastor voice: You know who else was an influencer?

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When I was in primary school we had big Christianity-themed activity books because Catholicism is normal and I got told off for drawing a picture of John the Baptist wearing a shirt that said ‘Jesus is Cool’

Would have been a great youth pastor I think.

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It was called Alive-O and it came with a CD and we would sing a song from it every day

This sounds like it could have been in Crash Bandicoot

51SRnEHjQ8L.AC

Jesus has risen, a large crowd has gathered, people from all over the world have come to hear him speak for the first time in centuries…

Jesus: WAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP

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