All the nations press are there and the queen walks to the front slowly, using a walking stick and looking really frail. She stares in front of her for a few seconds, and it looks like there’s a tear in her eye. Then she starts smoking a massive fucken bifta.
To a sold out audience
Goes full Wonka.
The Queen Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror’s north-east football writer]?
The Queen You’re a cunt.
SB Thank you.
I’ve seen the Queen’s greenhouse. (Did not spot any weed in it, though)
I like the queen the queen smokes green