Instructions you never follow

Yeah, 30s are legit. I try to keep closer to 20 when it’s built up, occasionally stray slightly over 30.

No-one’s getting done for anything less than a 80 in a 70, right?

50s are the ones often riddled with speed cameras, seemingly.

Bin off 30s, 40, and 70s. Make everything 20mph (urban/residential), 50mph (NSL), or 80mph (Dual Carriageways & M-way).

As someone who lives next to a dual carriageway in a town centre can I suggest not making dual carriageways 80
Or 20


I can offer you the NSL of 50 for it.

Wash with, like, colours

I think 40 is OK

Sorry, I’ve submitted the paperwork, ordered the signs and procured the contractors now.

It’ll need 2 consultations and an 18 month processing period to reverse things, starting Spring 2023 at the earliest.

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“Not suitable for home freezing”

I think you’ll find this pizza freezes just fine pal



Wasn’t even thinking of ingesting my hair conditioner until I noticed this warning, but now I must say I’m intrigued.


You still occasionally see “ALL MOBILE DEVICES MUST BE TURNED OFF” signs in petrol stations. Got to wonder who is following that instruction in 2023.

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When I was working in customer services a few years ago we occasionally got busybodies complaining about petrol station staff members using cordless phones (not actually mobiles) on the forecourt


I can’t imagine having the self control to buy a pizza and not cook it and eat it at the earliest opportunity

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In fairness I recognise that and it is called “hair food “ right? Mrs f uses it and I have to say that image always makes me chuckle