INTERNET OF THINGS thread (rolling)

bit creepy eh?

creepy but what else did people think a ‘smart vibrator’ was going to do?

And for the cocks amongst us:


to know what you want and when you want it

Also, loads of Alexa fail stories

when will an Alexa fail be the main plot point in a Hollywood movie? Must be one soon

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Something about a inserting a trojan virus through the backdoor


High-brow pillow talk?


this is the future guys

those guys who wear waistcoats and worship eras that never existed might be on to something tbh



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Using Shakespeare’s tongue, I hope?


:joy: proper chuckled at this

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Really don’t get why mundane appliances need to be on the internet.

I can’t see how I would possibly benefit from having a kettle, toaster or dildo that is connected to the internet. On the other hand, some cunt somewhere is compiling a spreadsheet about how many cups of tea I have a day or how brown I like my toast.

Can someone explain to me why my THINGS should be on the INTERNET?

It all makes sense if you think that Big Data is universally A Good Thing.

The dildo thing seems to be for couples who are in distance relationships, so you give your partner control over the device to pleasure you.

In most cases, though, I agree. It’s not that much use. I guess if you’re a big fan of stats then you log how much you use your kettle, etc? Seems a fairly niche appeal.

feel like the trend of ‘gamification’ you see on the internet is gonna carry over a lot too. getting achievements for boiling your kettle 100 times, which autoposts to your facebook timeline, so your friends can pretend to be interested and post an autoresponse of congratulations, just happily taking the dopamine hit even though you know it’s totally false.



So you can get likes for your tea/toast/onanism skills ofc