I have a lot of melancholy feelings but there’s no space to express that stuff without feeling selfish and self-absorbed.
of course this is what good friends are for but when you feel they are having a harder time than you that goes away too.
I’m always moaning, must get about a full hour of petty moaning in a day
don’t you hate doing it though?
Yeah it’s called community.drownedinsound.com
Nah I relish it
somebody on here many years back told me I was a narcissist and didn’t really suffer with depression and I guess it’s stuck with me like a cloud for a long time because I felt maybe there’s a grain of truth to it. That’s a really difficult thing to process that maybe you are narcissistic. Like it’s not like you can just stop worrying about yourself just because somebody tells you that
jesus christ, what an awful thing to say to someone
Like where’s the opportunity to say to people that you wished you had done better with your life and made a better go of things? I feel like a lot of people don’t get to address that stuff unless they are on a deathbed or something, it’s grim.
Yeah I probably said some nasty stuff too so maybe it was fair idk, I try to be mindful of others these days, despite how I might come across in some threads on here I do hate feeling like a burden on others
Bam, fuck that noise.
generally though like in a daily thread you can be like “oh this fucked up thing happened!” and in the mental health thread is often people struggling with very real and heavy stuff, I feel like a lot of stuff that drains away at you can seep through the cracks.
Love to hear anybody’s melancholy thoughts anyway hah x
That person was being a cunt and completely wrong man
Having said that I feel all the time like some kind of imposter, I rarely get any sort of official medical labelling that i’m specifically any sort of mental illness so regularly get an intrusive thought I’m probably just copping out of life or something.
Rambling now but I feel like I’ve had suicidal and dysmorphia mh issues for almost twenty years now, as long as some people I’ve worked with have even been alive. I don’t know, I just think that sort of thing’s not going to go away by itself really.
Yeah I have a lot of unaddressed mental health problems that have been with me since childhood. What do you do in the face of this stuff? I know my doctor’s practice is crap and I would struggle to even get an appointment, combine that with seeing my mum have to get actually sectioned after years of severe anxiety to get any kind of help that is still in many ways substandard and now just amounts to about 10 different pills a day that keeps her calm but very detached…is it any wonder people self-medicate through drink and drugs and just decide to live with their problems as best they can?
Definitely part of the problem is healthcare as an institution as a whole and the stuff we’ve all been through with it, I know people who depend on it as a lifeline though, even a phonecall from a nurse every week or something - it’s all individual isn’t it and I think that’s the problem - being in that grey area where despite not being a vital threat to your own life right now it’s not all rosy.
Yeah I wouldn’t blame any individual person who works in the NHS, it’s a complex thing, especially gets difficult when it’s mixed with feelings of shame and low self-esteem where you don’t want to feel like wasting their time or taking up time for more serious issues.
Feels really trite to say this now but I hope you start to feel better soon, I can imagine dysmorphia must feel really intense and inescapable at times. I have health anxiety problems and that is often really hard to distract yourself from because you can never leave your body behind and go somewhere else