It's S799's annual life-crisis thread!

life

#1

Hello! It’s that time of year again!

Don’t worry if you don’t want to reply to this, I’m mostly venting.

So as some of you may know I moved back to Glasgow nearly a year ago. It’s been mostly great, the first 6 months in particular, as I got my old job back and I got to write and record an album with two of my best friends. I’ve also stepped up my writing jobs (for Drowned in Sound and The List most recently). Plus I got to share it with my new partner who had only been here once before.

However, my contract ran out after 6 months and I’ve really struggled to find work since then. I’m constantly being told I’m not qualified enough to do anything. And when I go reverse tack and try and get a bar and cafe job, I get no response or an inferred “you’re over-qualified for this job”. And during this time, I seem to have developed (or re-visited) quite a bit of the ol’ anxiety meaning the two jobs I attempted to start last month, led to me having massive panic attacks to the point where I wasn’t able to do the job.

As for my partner, she likes Glasgow but doesn’t love it, and her job (which she finds herself in a similarly frustrating “trapped” scenario with) is causing her some noticeable stress. That and, being German, the whole Brexit thing (despite Scotland being somewhat of a safe-haven) as kinda killed the idea of living and working in the UK anymore.

So it seems increasingly likely we’re going to move to Germany, potentially as soon as by around November/December time. I’m not really against this, I’ve been talking about moving there for years and I’ve wanted to do my masters over there for some time anyway.

What I’m worried about now is:

  • how am I going to afford it when I literally have no money due to work situation?
  • What does this do to the record I’ve made but not yet released? I can’t afford p.r for it but would like it to get released. As great an idea D.I.Y is it can be so unrewarding and tiring and doesn’t really ensure money.
  • What work am I going to find in (probably Berlin)? I’m learning German but I’m still not really confident with it.
  • Should I run away AGAIN?

It’s a shame to some extent that returning to Glasgow hasn’t been the answer, but I was always aware that it probably should be a short term thing this time around. The most important thing was getting out of London and back into a network of friends I can see readily and in a much cheaper and less stressful city to live in. I did that, and it definitely worked initially, but it’s kinda worn off now (plus the weather fucking SUCKS)

I don’t really know what I’m asking here, it’s tl;dr for a Friday afternoon anyway.


#2

maybe I’ll get a sweet badge for my first thread at least


#3

I don’t want to sound off or whatever but you absolutely shouldn’t be expecting to make money off your music even if it’s good because everything’s fucked
I know that’s no help but it’s a daft position to be starting from imho


#4

Hey, I was asking after you earlier!

It’s a complicated situation and not one that I could resolve for you entirely. But a few thoughts:

  1. What does your gf do for work? Is it something she’d be able to do reasonably easily in Germany?
  2. Do you think that maybe it’ll be easier to pick up café / bar work in Germany? As long as you have conversational German it might not be so difficult. And immersion in the culture might help you learn more quickly
  3. How serious are the two of you?

Because if you’re relatively serious, you could move to Germany together, she could take on better-paid work in line with her skills and qualifications, you could take on whatever work you can, and you could live with the slight inequality while you give your musical projects their best shot.

I think my main concern would be in relation to the ‘social’ inequality between the two of you if you moved there. I guess you’d want to make your own friends and contact when you’re there, so you’re not reliant on her or anything.

I don’t think this is a complete solution or anything but I think that you could make this work for the two of you. Good luck with it :slight_smile:


#5

I don’t think he says that at all, does he?


#6

Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that, I know there’s no money involved. I just want people to, you know, listen to it (preferably with a physical version) and we get to play a few shows…

But then I’m potentially calling time on it anyway so fuck knows


#7

You alright, Ruffers? You seem particularly down at the moment.

(From reading the OP, I think that Severed primarily wanted to earn enough money to afford to put the record out)


#8

Oh right yeah that’s fair enough it was the ‘ensure money’ bit that threw me I guess
Honestly it sounds corny but there’s a big network of folks out there who know you enough to be interested in anything you put out , and I guess if you start playing shows regularly word of mouth and people sharing it etc will for sure get ears to it, I believe.


#9

We’ve been together around a year now and she moved from London with me to Glasgow, and we’ve lived together since. So yeah, I’m not worried about us. She is a project manager at a marketing firm, she will be fine, and what you describe is basically what we are doing now. It’s just I seem to have lost my way just now.

There are English speaking jobs in Berlin, I’m just not sure how likely I’d be to get them yet. In terms of a small job, I’m not quite there yet with my German but I’m determined to be. My first port of call would be Barry from Mogwai and be like “here mate, gies a job in Das Gift”.

I’m pretty ingrained in the culture (for an outsider) already. We just spent the last two weeks over there (hence my being quiet recently) staying mostly with her folks in Hamburg, but I’ve been going over there for years, especially Berlin, so I know.

As for Social stuff, I guess relatedly, I have a few friends living in Berlin already, just as she does, so we’d actually be on fairly level playing field. So tbh that sort of stuff is all set up to go. I guess I’m just concerned about what to do while I’m in Glasgow really.


#10

The only advice i could offer is to not let point 2 affect your decision at all. Hope you work it all out youth.


#11

Yeah, I know, it’s just difficult. Like I’ve started trying to book shows outside of Glasgow and sending links to the album, but have had fuck all response from either really. It’s really disheartening and I’m kinda sick of “playing the game” and losing after doing it for years. And as I say, I don’t really know how long I’m going to be around for. I wouldn’t want to end the band necessarily just because I’ve moved, but it’s an obstacle. It makes me feel like I shouldn’t have left London, but I don;t think I could have survived that.


#12

I am genuinely sorry if this is patronising* and unhelpful, but are you in your mid 20s? You’re kinda describing what it’s like to be in your mid 20s.

*I know for a fact it is but it is meant to be helpful too.


#13

28 in a couple weeks, and I know I’m not special :wink:


#14

by the way if anyone wants to listen to my album and offer some help/validation have at it:


#15

yeah, work wise, i was in a pretty similar situation at that age


#16

is that encouraging or not? :slight_smile:


#17

just look at me now! (yes)


#18

I hope you feel better soon, severed.

I have a pal who moved to Berlin for work, but after something like 18 months the company she was working for folded. She’s now doing a few freelance bits here and there. She’s learning German, but doesn’t need it for work (she does publishing and editorial stuff). For her, moving to Berlin has probably been the best thing ever: everything’s cheaper, she’s made a shit tonne of pals and has a far better time of it than she ever did in London.

If you do end up moving I can put you in touch if you like. She might know of places to look for jobs.


#19

this whole thread was a thinly veiled jag wasn’t it


#20

I like the noise

turn the vocals up a bit