Hello! It’s that time of year again!
Don’t worry if you don’t want to reply to this, I’m mostly venting.
So as some of you may know I moved back to Glasgow nearly a year ago. It’s been mostly great, the first 6 months in particular, as I got my old job back and I got to write and record an album with two of my best friends. I’ve also stepped up my writing jobs (for Drowned in Sound and The List most recently). Plus I got to share it with my new partner who had only been here once before.
However, my contract ran out after 6 months and I’ve really struggled to find work since then. I’m constantly being told I’m not qualified enough to do anything. And when I go reverse tack and try and get a bar and cafe job, I get no response or an inferred “you’re over-qualified for this job”. And during this time, I seem to have developed (or re-visited) quite a bit of the ol’ anxiety meaning the two jobs I attempted to start last month, led to me having massive panic attacks to the point where I wasn’t able to do the job.
As for my partner, she likes Glasgow but doesn’t love it, and her job (which she finds herself in a similarly frustrating “trapped” scenario with) is causing her some noticeable stress. That and, being German, the whole Brexit thing (despite Scotland being somewhat of a safe-haven) as kinda killed the idea of living and working in the UK anymore.
So it seems increasingly likely we’re going to move to Germany, potentially as soon as by around November/December time. I’m not really against this, I’ve been talking about moving there for years and I’ve wanted to do my masters over there for some time anyway.
What I’m worried about now is:
- how am I going to afford it when I literally have no money due to work situation?
- What does this do to the record I’ve made but not yet released? I can’t afford p.r for it but would like it to get released. As great an idea D.I.Y is it can be so unrewarding and tiring and doesn’t really ensure money.
- What work am I going to find in (probably Berlin)? I’m learning German but I’m still not really confident with it.
- Should I run away AGAIN?
It’s a shame to some extent that returning to Glasgow hasn’t been the answer, but I was always aware that it probably should be a short term thing this time around. The most important thing was getting out of London and back into a network of friends I can see readily and in a much cheaper and less stressful city to live in. I did that, and it definitely worked initially, but it’s kinda worn off now (plus the weather fucking SUCKS)
I don’t really know what I’m asking here, it’s tl;dr for a Friday afternoon anyway.