Basically, trying to learn to not have more than 3/4 max. alcoholic drinks on any night (even on special occasions). And drink water at the same time.
Not quite there but slowly making progress.
That’s definitely something a lot of us can relate to. Some times people just don’t get it and it’s often chalked up (for me anyway) by people going “everyone has bad days”.
One thing I’ve done this past year that’s been super good for me is to stop over committing myself. In the past I worked full time and volunteered for two charities and did freelance work on the side which meant I was constantly running from one thing to another and always felt like I did a bad job of each thing because I didn’t have time to really focus on doing one thing well. On the other hand, I felt like if I didn’t do those things I was letting people down and being lazy.
Realising that it’s not lazy to take a bit of time to relax and that just because I agreed to do something a few years ago I am not bound to do it forever has been very good for me. I feel so much calmer now I have time to myself and I’ve even got time for a creative hobby that I find incredibly fulfilling.
What I am working on now is trying to let go of some of the ludicrous rules and standards that I’ve set for myself over the years that might have got me out of a bad patch in the past but that are now actively undermining my confidence and making me unable to appreciate my achievements. It’s hard to break habits but I think I’m making progress.
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At my lowest point currently and seem to veer wildly between despondency and mania several times a day, but it wasn’t all that long ago i thought i’d found a sort of comfortable plateau by…
- Cutting out alcohol
- Eating a healthy diet and taking a keener interest in cooking
- Doing some sort of exercise every day
- Putting aside some time for reading every day
- Limiting my exposure to the news
- Using dead downtime for stuff like housekeeping, grooming, etc, daft as it sounds.
- Making sure i ring or text one person every day.
- Coming off devices for a couple of hours before bed to help sleep.
- Not taking my phone out with me.
- Trying to take an interest in the odd new thing.
- Having podcasts or the radio on regularly.
None of these things are going to solve mental health issues, but i definitely find that sometimes i can put a few sort of building blocks together…and other times i can’t.
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I always wanted to ask this in the mental health threads but didn’t really feel that it was the place and this might not be either… so feel free to ignore
Do you think DiS is representative of mental health in this country as I was quite shocked at how many people are affected? In day to day life, less some extreme examples, it isn’t really obvious who is and who isn’t so I guess it is my default to assume people aren’t. Which isn’t necessarily correct.
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DIS also attracts a certain type of person (broadly) and are we more prone or just average?
I’m about to change my job and living situation in the hopes that it improves both my mental and physical health (even though this means going to my parents for a couple months) and also start making changes in my daily routine as this weekend had been eye-opening in that’s I’ve got a bit complacent and have a long way to go in terms of feeling good about my self and having fulfilling life choices ahead of me.
In the meantime, I wrote this earlier in the year if it helps anyone then great:
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That sounds really hard, sorry to hear that’s happening to you.
Obviously I don’t know any of the history before he made those comments, but had you spoken about it before much? It’s a really jarring and shitty thing of him to say, and that’s really concerning, but if you haven’t spoken about it much it might be partly he’s just scared/doesn’t know how to deal with it? My ex had quite bad MH issues, and while I never said anything as blunt or shitty as your boyfriend, I did find I’d sort of skate around it and try and change the subject, just cos I didn’t have too much personal experience of it myself and I was scared. Similar things happened, although not on the same scale, in my current relationship a while back and I (rightly) got a bollocking for it. It might help if you can explain what on a practical level emotional support means for you, if there’s little things he can do that would help and that sort of thing. That was how me and my GF started working on it, and I think it helped me have the confidence to talk about it with her and ask about it, and has helped her too.
It might be that none of this is the case for you two and you’ve already chatted about this loads, so sorry if it is and this is just meaningless waffle from me. Just thought it might be helpful x
I honestly can’t see how everyone’s is perfectly happy and satisfied all of the time so I imagine most people aren’t talking about it, aren’t addressing it (for themselves) or aren’t struggling quietly.
So many things.
- Posting more in the MH thread on here, it has been invaluable
- Talking to friends and family more openly, this has made me realise that people do care about me
- Used methods that I learnt about in CBT
- Listened to more music as I realised it always has a good effect on me
- Found pills that really worked for me (this is probably 80%+ of it in fairness)
- Somehow, someway found the energy to admit to myself that I’m not that bad really
- Reading more.
- Reaching out to friends more than I did, just for some chit chat
All goes a long way to improving things. I’m feeling much better.
@Isa welcome aboard!
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Abandoned my post on this because you’ve summed it up.
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I am not perfectly happy and satisfied all the time but I don’t think I have any MH issues or certainly not for a long time. I could be deluding myself though.
I guess the question I am trying to ask is are people all around me, some that I may know very well, suffering a great deal and I am oblivious.
I think it’s important to be aware that you don’t have to be diagnosed to be struggling with MH issues. Even something like a bad day where you feel overly stressed or more anxious than usual and it has an impact on you and your work, or just how you view the world or life at that point in time is, for me, as valid as someone who battles depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder or any other diagnosed illness.
If you recognise when things don’t feel as together as they might, then that’s a big part of the initial battle won.
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I think I mean more like most people will deal with a MH issue at some point in their life (stress, grief, anxiety, insomnia, could be anything) and people have different coping mechanisms that you could never know really.
I’m sure there are some tell tale signs but I think opening up about your own MH struggles if you suspect someone is going through something could lead them to open up to you.
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In terms of what I’ve done this year to help my MH:
- Make time to read and not spend so much time starting at screens
- Spending free days and nights watching football
- Trying to spend more time with people who put me fully at ease
- Yoga
These are the main things. And although each and every day remains a battle, these things have meant I’ve had more enjoyable and relaxed moments than I would otherwise have done.
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sport’s the main one for me, started playing squash twice a week and it’s been great. just with a pal so no having to deal with competitive pricks or worrying about embarrassing myself. also satisfies my very minimal need for social interaction
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Big up to the all the positive steps people have been taking, and big hugs to anyone who feels like they are lacking support and understanding
This year I moved from a job that was making me very stressed to a less stressful one. This in turn gave me the confidence to knock the pills on the head (for now at least, I definitely can see the possibility I may need them again in the future and I’m OK with that)
Had some ups and downs nonetheless this year, most of them related to my love life. Also worrying that the new job is not really for me and too quiet really, It’s not going to be sustainable long term so I will need to look for something else next year
Yesterday I had a bad day - an argument with my ex came out of nowhere, and in the past this has been a huge huge source of anxiety for me, I got through it though, I think I’m getting better from detaching myself from her and it and not taking it all to heart so much.
I still have loads to do. I need to get better at managing my time and getting stuff done, as this helps me feel good. But I also need to learn to give myself a break when it’s just not happening
Anyway, bit of a ramble. You guys are a great bunch of GBOLs
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wish I could find the energy to talk about my MH but it just doesn’t seem worth the effort really.
I’ve been absolutely flattened by my mental health this year, it’s moved to some horrendous new places and has led to me dropping out of my masters, moving back to the UK and back home, and generally put my whole life on hold for a while. BUT I think this is a semi-blessing in disguise - it’s meant I’ve been “fast-tracked” through NHS stuff (i.e it only took 6 months to get anywhere), and it’s increasingly clear that it’s part of some older stuff that would’ve surfaced anyway, so it’s good it’s come at a time when I don’t have any real responsibilities and can afford to take the time to sort it out early-ish, even if it’s a financial nightmare. So to get to the point of the thread - I’ve taken the time out whilst I sort-of can to fix things a bit before it impacts anybody else. And running 5-10k every day and all that stuff, physical health is indeed good for mental health.
I’m also incredibly happy to be on the Disintegration State label, having any sort of audience or interest in my music means the absolute world and everyone involved is amazing 
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Cooling it on the booze for sure.
I had such a bad booze related incident this year so after that point I said I’m not drinking for a month and lasted 2 months before being able to slowly introduce it here and there. I’m at a good level now where I know my limit and know when not to drink and know how to handle it better.
Gushing post alert: 
I have to say my bf has been such an amazing help to me this year. I’ve had such dark times which occurred during the first few weeks of us living together and he’s just been there for me throughout regardless. My appreciation for him just grows so much. He supports me in anything I do and will run around making sure I can get to/from where I need to and make sure things happen with ease for me 
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