I've written a novel!

Want to read it?

Don’t worry I haven’t.

But, let’s say you got told today that you’ve got to write a novel or else!

What would you write?

Wuthering Heights


Alright, Father John Misty

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A hardboiled detective story where the detective doesnt manage to find anything out and then gets depressed and basically gives up.

Does he play by anyone’s rules but his own?

Keeps a bottle of scotch at the bottom of his desk drawer even though he quit years ago. Still though, you never know when he might need it again.


Good thread Saps! I think I would try and write an Inherent Vice-aping rambling stoner detective story, but set in Hastings in the present day. Obviously it would be shit but I think I would quite enjoy writing it.

Pff Auster is entry level mate


I’d write about a man whose work has booked him travel but his passport renewal hasn’t arrived in time. He then decides that won’t stop him, so he starts to travel on foot (and occasionally dinghy) across the continent, trying to evade capture and get to wherever the fuck his work were sending him.

Along the way he finds himself (and loses all his clothes).

Fucking hell mate. Don’t DO that. I was genuinely shitting it for a bit there.


Some sword and sorcery shit.

Maybe I’d stick tonnes of sex in there to try to capture that Fifty Shades market?

I’m not telling you the idea for a novel I’ve had in my head for years but haven’t got round to writing yet.

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Post can’t be empty

Think you were beaten to it decades ago

Hill! That fucking hack!

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All mountains become sentient.

“If I was to be picky, I would say some of the animals don’t quite fit the association with home (e.g. an alligator under the bed!)”

amazon reviews are great

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