John Lewis Christmas Advert 2016

I Would Die 4 U (Jesus was born on Christmas Day and died for our sins around Easter time).

2 Likes

the most beautiful girl in the world (probably shops at john lewis)
take me with u (when you go to do your christmas shopping at john lewis)
pink cashmere (scarves, the perfect gift for your gran)

1 Like
indent preformatted tewhern did christmas adverts becoming a thing?

i think it must have been when i was out of the country in texaas.

god i hate people.xt by 4 spaces

purple rain (? then get an umbrella from our umbrella dept)

Heck of a quote that

2 Likes

Party Up (this Christmas with John Lewis’ range of snacks and treats for all the family.)

My Name Is Prince (Of Peace. THE Prince Of Peace to you.)

A child lovingly crafts a pipe bomb and places it into a box marked with a shipping label that reads “Brussels, EU” but then it explodes in the kid’s face.

2 Likes

1999 (now less than half price at 999)

1 Like

Sound and Vision (buy your loved one the perfect Crosley turntable from our AV department)
Space Oddity (we have the perfect Feng Shui book for the mum who has everything)
Heroes (find our Christmas chocolate located near the front door)

Sexy MF(I)

17 Days (Left before Christmas to shop at John Lewis) - This will air on the 7th of December of course.

A Child walks through the forest and finds a locked box. She carries it back home to and then raids her dad’s tools in the shed to get into the box. She keeps hammering and sawing and while she’s working numerous family members come to try and get her to do something else, but she dismisses them all one by one. She eventually gets into the box and it’s the severed head of her father. She starts laughing laughing harder and harder till she looks like she’s in physical pain. She leaves the shed and she’s at a funeral. The John Lewis logo softly appears on screen.

All done to a ukelele rendition of Kids by MGMT

5 Likes

Elton John and Lennox Lewis host a Christmas bash. Rustie Lee is in the kitchen preparing the turkey, Gregg Wallace is making a nuisance of himself. Clothes, jewellery, fragrance, you name it, is shown to the viewer. There is no music.

No John Lewis but …

Remember this absolute cuntery?

If they pull some shit like this again I am definitely withholding my license fee.

I think maybe penguins. A penguin wobbling around looking lost and vulnerable in a generic busy shopping environment. Michael Kiwanuka will perform a stripped-down and massively earnest version of Last Christmas as a soundtrack.

:smile:

1 Like

Penguins been done, pal

group of refugees being treated to a john lewis luxury hamper and some cashmere jumpers.

benjamin clementine with a minimal version of david bowie’s ‘heroes’ playing in the background.

Shit. Robins then. A nice little robin.