#286

Originally the lead singer of ultravox wasn’t going to get involved with Live Aid, but god appeared before him in a dream and said he had to.

Textbook case of Force Midge Ure

8 Likes
#287

Big fan of this one.

2 Likes
#288

There’s some semi niche required reading, but it IS an excellent joke.

cc @Owensmaterob

#289

It’s right up any lawyer’s alley.

1 Like
#290

This means … [abandon reply]

#291

OWEN FFS WHY WOULD YOU TAG ME IN THIS. Personal attack. Hate crime, even. I never want to hear your fucking midge ure joke ever again.

5 Likes
#292

IT’S A SOLID JOKE

1 Like
#293

Very decent, but it will never beat the all-time contractual provision classic:

1 Like
#294

Excel incels?

#295

Extremely Cell-ibate? There’s something in this.

#296

Not sure this has the makings of a joke or more of a riddle, but I don’t think there’s a riddle workshop, anyway…what I’ve got so far:

Some way of working the spoonerism bare hands and hair bands into a joke (or riddle, see above). Maybe including gloves, like - removing one accessory gets another, I dunno.

#297

Something about Kenny Loggins getting locked out of all his social media accounts

3 Likes
#298

Maybe including something about when you’ve got only one try left to get your password you’re in the Danger Zone

#299

Always concious of hygeine, Paddington was making a new batch of marmalade so he tied his long fur back with his bear hands.

Thought bear hands was easier. Started to wonder about a long complicated story of Bungle visiting Claire’s Accessories but gave up.

2 Likes
#300

what did the robot lad say to the other robot lad?

“01 01!”

(oi oi)

2 Likes
#301

Doctor, doctor, I’ve had terrible flatulence recently!

Hmm, what’s the frequency?

About 400 Hz!

10 Likes
#302

Actualled lolled at this FFS

#303

Something about John Bercow stepping down to have more time to listen to his favourite Manchester band

No Ordaiiiir

2 Likes
#304

Something about charting progress through puberty by how aroused you got by watching women’s tennis. The punchline is Stiffy Graph.

2 Likes
#305

Great punchline, but I think it’s probably a bit too dated now.

yes, I know I’M a bit dated, hahaha etc. :roll_eyes: