Jokes workshop

Nah yours was better: clever wordplay >> a free hit against an obvious nob

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Right, so having seen the Derry jokes about an It spinoff in the great things on social media thread and people getting irked about “you hate/love to see it”.

Q: What’s a person who likes scary clowns’ favourite album?
A: Let’s Get It On

Things like that… There must be loads of It jokes

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Something about Slash City. Except I don’t know if It is really a slasher movie. Maybe would be better if it was another new Halloween.

Q: What’s a person who likes scary clowns’ favourite Strokes album?

A: Room on fire

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Who’s the second Strokes album’s favourite Arsenal manager?

Arson Wenger

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Bloke walks into a record shop and asks the clerk for some recommendations.
Bloke: “I’m feeling pretty depressed. Could you recommend me a good slowcore band and a good modern upbeat pop album?”
Clerk: “Low, Self-Esteem?”
Bloke: “Wait, you too?”
clerk: “Nah, they’re shit.”

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Why don’t Roberts like going to the winter OIympics?
They’re scared of all the Bobsleighers.

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Something that confuses the Henry the 8th wives musical Six with the car hire place Sixt

Divorced, beheaded, DRIVE!

I dunno.

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Saw this debatably irrelevant waterfowl the other day.

It was a moot swan.

This but better/funny please.

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something about

why did Mary magdalen’s energy bill go through the roof?

Cos he lives.

but more coherent

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The people who worked under mother Theresa had the patients of a Saint

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Took an interesting brassica to my publisher friend the other day. Going to write a novel about it.
They said “well well this is a turnip for the books”

Bit sweaty

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Heres a question for you all, im best man at my friends wedding and ive got a bit that i want to test. See if it lands.:

Ive never had the pleasure of seeing Mick speak in public before, but there was one part of the speech that I knew he would get right and thats the part where he gives thanks. Because Ive overheard a lot of the guests talking today and they’ve all been saying what a massive thanker Mick is. All day long its been: “What a thanker”, “Mick is the biggest thanker ive ever met”, “I cant believe Jenny is marrying such a thanker”

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It’s not the worst wedding speech gag I’ve heard but it’s not landing fully with me either.

This was my opener if you want to nab it (appreciate you didn’t ask for any input):

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I like how @still_he_persisted put the same joke in this thread five years ago as well. Very apt username

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Did i???

The wedding was rescheduled from 2020 so that would explain it

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Wow. I owe it to myself to have it in my speech then. 5 years in the making.

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