My partner has confiscated all of my stoner metal records and I’ve become a bit of an insomniac.
You might say I’m sleep-deprived.
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My partner has confiscated my post-Kid A Radiohead record and I can’t remember why
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Or “My partner has confiscated all of my stoner metal records that I use to help me nod off.”
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I prefer this one
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surely you need the capital S in Sleep for the written down version of this joke
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My newborn confiscated my post Pablo Honey record after surfacing too rapidly on a dive.
Baby got The Bends.
(This kind of terrible joke is why) we don’t have any real friends.
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i might be wrong
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Morning bellend!
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Why couldn’t the Autumnwatch crew find their hot chocolate mugs at the end of the day’s shooting?
Because Chris Packham.
Something like that anyway.
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Coleslaw Chamber
That’s all I’ve got so far but I’ve got a feeling it could be the topical joke of the year
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Limp Picnic feat. Coleslaw Chamber & Corn
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YES
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You say that, but if someone photoshopped this into an image of a picnic that featured said members of those bands, and then wiggy posted it in the gtposm thread, you’d be ragin
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Yeah but it’s different when it’s me
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I recently heard about a defence lawyer representing the lead singer of U2 for free. He was Pro Bono.
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there’s no WAY anyone has come up with this joke before!! 
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I knew this cannibal cook. He worked his way up from shins to thighs, then ribs.
Eventually he was made head chef.
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Something about “coastal defenders” on BBC and being like “what’s this all about? Lewis Dunk??”
Presume you meant shins not chins?
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