Jokes workshop

This is brilliant! :heart:

Why was the large egg shunned?

Because it was ostrich-sized.

12 Likes

I was in the pub last night and a man walked in with a newt on his shoulder. “Is that a newt?” I asked him.

“Yes it is, his name is Tiny.” the man replied.

“Why Tiny?” I asked.

“Because he’s my newt.”

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Not helpful for your joke, but a quick peak at my last.fm

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been working on this for a while. please be kind.

I’m going shopping for a small guitar today, they can be quite hard to find.
Oh, Uke hunt?
Well really!!!

Not sure how to finish it. Basically the premise is “Uke Hunt” = “You cunt”.

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Yes.

OK so there’s this judge and he’s on a plane, and there’s something about his seat choice, and… no I can’t get there.

Yoda gets on a plane. The stewardess asks him if he knows where his seat is.

“The aisle behind aisle of ‘T’”

“Aisle of ‘U’?”

“KEEN, YOU ARE.”

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Is Yoda a judge?

He is not. This is based purely on the word ‘aisle’.

Aisle be the judge of that.

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Arnie gets on a plane and says “where am I sitting asshole?”
The stewardess says “Aisle B, Back”
Arnie says “eh?”

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How has this joke not actually found its way into one of his films? In fact are you sure it hasn’t? I can see them actually inserting a plane scene just to do it.

Because it doesn’t make sense. The scriptwriter probably realised it as they were typing. Like I did.

It makes plenty enough sense for an Arnie film.

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“Hey supermarket worker, where are the carrots?”
“Veg is onAisle B”
“Where is that?”
“At the rear of the shop.”
“Oh? Aisle B Back”
“Piss off Arnie”

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Something about putting great composers into a plan seating plan? Mozart in the window seat, Beethoven in the middle and the Aisle be Bach.

three ducks walk into a pub.

[something something]

drake on the jukebox

^that’s all i’ve got

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Are they in a row? This is important.

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Excuse me HMV employee, where can i find air on the g string?

1 Like