ARNIE: Guess who is my favourite member of the famed Bach family?
BYSTANDER: J.S Bach?
ARNIE: No!
BYSTANDER: C.P.E Bach?
ARNIE: Guess again!
BYSTANDER: J.C Bach?
ARNIE: Which one?
BYSTANDER: Um, Johann Christoph Friedrich?
ARNIE: Try again!
BYSTANDER: Johann Christian?
ARNIE: No!
BYSTANDER: That’s all the Bachs I know and I’ve got an appointment, are you going to tell me or not?
ARNIE: I.B Bach.
BYSTANDER: Fuck off.
I was asking this Jamaican sprinter what his favourite pixar film was.
He says “That one with the dog and the hamster in a ball.”
I say “You sayin’ Bolt?”
My friends are doing a sit-up marathon for charity, it’s all for good cores
My late friend had a business for delivering chickpea paste by hand and she’s just won a posthummus award for it
i had a joke to post in here but then i realised i’d plagiarised it from @Aggpass
(this is not a joke)
I still laughed. At you.
Which one?
something about paypal infallibility
I’m already laughing!
a classic, tbf
God, don’t you just love that irresistible, pheremoney smell that you always get from brilliant tech entrepreneurs?
Elon Musk.
That tech billionaire smelt strange after I put a long thin fish on him.
Yes, that’s classic eel-on musk
Man A - “Do you know what sporadic means?
Man B -” Every now and again"
Man A - “How about today?”
Not sure whether it needs the third line or whether you leave it hanging after the second one.
“no, i dont know what that means, sorry”
What’s the lead actor from New Girl’s favourite type and texture of the french mother sauces?
Gooey Béchamel
Something about a former vice president whose drumming follows a set of predetermined rules or something
The punchline being Al Gore Rhythm
“Have you seen Bill Clinton’s VP’s new band? He plays drums and is so tight you’d think he was an android following a complex set of computer instructions.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I love a good Al Gore rhythm.”
Good effort - feels kinda laboured though. But good effort.
It is laboured, tbf.