Jokes workshop


What’s the lead actor from New Girl’s favourite type and texture of the french mother sauces?

Gooey Béchamel


Something about a former vice president whose drumming follows a set of predetermined rules or something

The punchline being Al Gore Rhythm


“Have you seen Bill Clinton’s VP’s new band? He plays drums and is so tight you’d think he was an android following a complex set of computer instructions.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I love a good Al Gore rhythm.”


Good effort - feels kinda laboured though. But good effort.


It is laboured, tbf.



Pretty much there with this one:

Did you hear about the cheese that was arrested for fighting with a yogurt?

It was a fromage affray.

(Edit: hmm, seems that others have made this joke before).


a joke about a salad where the punchline is cos lettuce

why did the salad something something?
'coz lettuce :rofl:


You don’t win friends with jokes about salad.


Why not?

@ericthefourth now you post “coz lettuce!” And the joke will most definitely be on J_I


Billie piper and her mate were at the greengrocers to buy ingredients for the salad. The grocer asked her what variety and how many lettuce they needed.

‘Cos, we want 2’


In the lettuce factory, they’re dealing with an angry call from the Research Industry Council of Australia because their order was accidently sent to Central America.

I don’t understand, says the lettuce factory manager, I clearly marked it “cos to RICA”.


what have i done


Ever since yesterday’s Justin Casablancas thread I’ve been trying to think if there is a way of getting it to work by combining vegetables cut into fine strips, the Spanish word for home, and blanka from street fighter 2, don’t think it can be done but invite dis to have a go


Got an idea for a joke about somebody saying that conkers become stronger if you leave them to mature for ages. The punch-line is ‘hoary old chestnut’. Think I’ve missed this years conker season so plenty of time to work on it.


this is exceptional. no Cannes-style booing from this observer.


Billie piper and her mate were at the greengrocers to buy lettuces. The grocer asks if they want:

A: Iceberg or
B: Cos

and how many.


Heard about the nun who smokes 20 a day and stubs them all out on her clothes?

It’s a disgusting habit


I think my reply here might go unappreciated on Twitter so this seems like a good thread to share:


I want to come up with a joke about my new colleague who can’t decide which floor of the building to sit on

I think it would work on many levels