Jokes workshop

Social
127

Pretty much there with this one:

Did you hear about the cheese that was arrested for fighting with a yogurt?

It was a fromage affray.

(Edit: hmm, seems that others have made this joke before).

128

a joke about a salad where the punchline is cos lettuce

why did the salad something something?
'coz lettuce :rofl:

2 Likes
129

You don’t win friends with jokes about salad.

7 Likes
130

Why not?

@ericthefourth now you post “coz lettuce!” And the joke will most definitely be on J_I

131

Billie piper and her mate were at the greengrocers to buy ingredients for the salad. The grocer asked her what variety and how many lettuce they needed.

‘Cos, we want 2’

10 Likes
132

In the lettuce factory, they’re dealing with an angry call from the Research Industry Council of Australia because their order was accidently sent to Central America.

I don’t understand, says the lettuce factory manager, I clearly marked it “cos to RICA”.

3 Likes
133

what have i done

135

Got an idea for a joke about somebody saying that conkers become stronger if you leave them to mature for ages. The punch-line is ‘hoary old chestnut’. Think I’ve missed this years conker season so plenty of time to work on it.

137

Billie piper and her mate were at the greengrocers to buy lettuces. The grocer asks if they want:

A: Iceberg or
B: Cos

and how many.

5 Likes
138

Heard about the nun who smokes 20 a day and stubs them all out on her clothes?

It’s a disgusting habit

14 Likes
139

I think my reply here might go unappreciated on Twitter so this seems like a good thread to share:

https://twitter.com/LewisBuchan/status/953319587034124288

https://twitter.com/Hefff88/status/953404426735190018

140

I want to come up with a joke about my new colleague who can’t decide which floor of the building to sit on

I think it would work on many levels

8 Likes
141

Stole a load of turn-based military board games yesterday. I’ve always been something of a Risk-taker.

7 Likes
142

And simultaneously a more holey habit

143

Something about being on a drip but all the efforts being in-vein?

144

Got offered a place on clinical trials of an experimental new life-saving treatment the other day. Unfortunately I can’t take pills, though, so it would all be in vein.

3 Likes
145

Almost, but not quite.

148
2 Likes
149

Can someone help me out and work guacamole into a reply to this?

150

Too late I’ve fucked it

1 Like